


A Beautiful Surrender

by jaybear1701



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluffier Than I Expected, Inch'Allah, Romance, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybear1701/pseuds/jaybear1701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A recovered Cosima travels to Africa to join a DYAD research expedition and meets a beautiful, but haunted MSF doctor in need of some cheering up. Canon-ish AU mildly influenced by Evelyne Brochu's film Inch'Allah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Noticed

The moment she stepped off the plane, Cosima Niehaus knew without a doubt that she was finally rejoining the land of the living.

No more sterile, quiet exam rooms. No more cold hospital beds. No more knock, knock, knockin’ on death’s door, thank you very much.

The N’djili International Airport terminal teemed with energy. Hundreds of people buzzed around her. Snippets and strings of French, Kikongo, and other dialects mingled together in discordant harmony. It should have been overwhelming, but the young scientist reveled in it, soaking in all the noise and commotion.

Grinning, Cosima hitched her knapsack more securely on her right shoulder and allowed herself to get swept up in the crowd. As soon as she picked up her checked bags and made it through customs, her satellite phone vibrated in her pocket. She quickly pulled it out and sighed when she saw the caller’s number.

“Miss me already?” Cosima smirked as she answered the call, pinning the phone between her shoulder and ear.

“Good, you made it,” a silken female voice on the line answered, tinny and distant but still retaining an unmistakably posh British accent. She sounded almost… relieved. Almost. Far be it for corporate ice queen Rachel Duncan to show emotion.

“Aw, you were worried!” Cosima placed one hand to her chest, amused, while she wheeled her luggage toward the airport’s exit.

A forceful exhale was the only response, and then, “You recall the itinerary, Dr. Niehaus.” It was more of a demand than a question. Typical Rachel.

“Yeah, yeah, _mom_ ,” Cosima rolled her eyes and began ticking off points on her fingers. “Meet up with Big Dick Paul. Rendezvous with the team at base camp. Collect data for diabolical DYAD experiments.”

“You know that’s not how we operate anymore,” Rachel said coolly. “Also, I would prefer that you not refer to Paul by that name.”

“If Sarah and Felix can call him that, why can’t I?” Cosima asked as she spotted a statuesque man in a dark blue suit holding up a placard with her name. “Annnd… speak of the devil.”

“Just… behave yourself, Cosima,” Rachel said, dropping the formality, subtle concern back in her voice. “You’ve only just recovered…”

“Look, Rachel, I appreciate it,” Cosima interrupted as she zigzagged around other travelers and moved toward her appointed guide. “I really do. But it’s been more than a year and I’ll only be away a few weeks. I’ll be back in town corrupting you before you know it.”

“Cosima--”

“Listen, I’ve gotta go. Why don’t you meet up with Alison? You guys can go shopping or whatever. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Cosima hung up the phone before Rachel could reply and jauntily waved at Paul to get his attention. The ex-military contractor turned monitor turned bodyguard immediately approached her.

“Dr. Niehaus,” Paul greeted. A small smile appeared on his handsomely chiseled face as he relieved her of her luggage.

The scientist tilted her head at him and grinned. “Dude, come on. We’re nowhere near DYAD. It’s just Cosima, okay?”

“Right of course, just Cosima,” he nodded once, leading her outside to a waiting cab. “You ready?”

“Totally.”

The heavy, muggy heat of the Congolese wet season stuck to Cosima’s skin and fogged up her dark-rimmed glasses. She could already feel moisture forming on the back of her neck underneath her dreadlocks. She put her dark hair up into a sloppy bun as Paul lifted her luggage in the trunk. The air was thick with exhaust fumes, but she breathed it in deeply nonetheless.

No more stale, sanitized air. No more artificially controlled temperatures. No more effing _coughing_.

“First time in Kinshasa?” Paul asked after he gave instructions to the driver and they settled in the back seat of the vehicle.

“First time anywhere, really.” Cosima eagerly took in the bustling cityscape as the cab sped from the airport. “I know, such a loser, right?” She rolled her eyes. “But with school and...and everything.” She shook her head. _Not gonna think about that._ “I just never found the time, you know?”

Cosima turned back toward her companion and flashed him another smile.

“Never too late,” Paul said.

“Damn right.”

* * *

The sun was setting by the time they arrived at the hotel, casting an orange hue on the tall building.

“We leave at 0500,” Paul told her as they exited the cab.

“Got it.” Cosima’s phone vibrated in her pocket again. Fishing it out, she glanced apologetically at Paul. “I should probably take this.”

Paul handed her a key card. “If you leave the premises, give me a call.”

“Obvs.” Off his skeptical expression--not unlike the looks Rachel and Alison would shoot her when they thought she, Sarah, Helena, or Tony were up to no good--Cosima brought her right hand up in a lazy military salute. “Sir, yes sir.”

Paul shook his head and moved off to hand her luggage to a porter.

Cosima placed the phone to her ear, twirling on her heel toward the street. “Rachel, if I didn’t know any better, I’d start to think you were a little obsessed with me.”

“In your dreams, geek monkey,” came a gruff drawl from someone who was most certainly _not_ Rachel Duncan.

“Sarah?” Cosima double checked the number on the screen and grinned. “Why do you have Rachel’s phone?”

“Nicked it from her, didn’t I? ‘Sides, how else were we supposed to call you, Cos? You left without a word!”

“Wait.. we?”

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, missy.” A different, higher pitched voice came on the line, prim and clipped. “What the dickens are you doing in Africa?”

Cosima grimaced. “Alison.”

“Honestly, Cosima. What if some headhunters kidnap you and lock you up in a, in a, in a lion cage somewhere,” Alison’s voice got shriller with each word, “and we never saw you again?”

“That’s… oddly... touching.” Cosima pinched the bridge of her nose, knuckles pushing her dark-rimmed frames up toward her forehead. _And totally offensive, but totally Alison._ She couldn’t help but smile. “I was gonna tell you guys, but it’s such a short trip. I didn’t want you to worry.” _More than you already have._

"We’re always gonna worry about you, Cos. Period. End of, yeah?” Sarah cut in.

Warmth blossomed in Cosima’s chest. “I know. And I appreciate it, really. But I’ll be fine. Rachel sicced BDP on me so, yeah, an ocean away and I still have a monitor up my ass. Besides, if anything happens, you and Helena can just come rescue me.”

“Seriously? Paul’s there? I wonder what he did to piss off Rachel and get stuck babysitting you…”

The rest of Sarah’s response faded into oblivion as Cosima twirled back around toward the hotel and froze, the wind knocked right out of her—and, for once, in a not bad way.

Standing by the entrance was quite possibly the most gorgeous woman Cosima had ever seen in all three decades of her life. Cosima’s gaze slid over the beautiful stranger: haphazardly tousled blonde hair that just barely kissed her shoulders, lithe torso, long legs. She was clad simply in hip-hugging black jeans and a white blouse, the black straps of her bra faintly visible against the light fabric.

The brunette watched the woman bring a cigarette to her lips, black nail polish contrasting sharply against pale skin, lighting it with a small silver zippo. Wisps of white curled around a heart-shaped faced scrubbed free of makeup. As if sensing Cosima’s stare, the blonde locked eyes with the scientist, and Cosima swore her heart stilled at the piercing sight of haunted hazel.

The woman paused ever so slightly--her own eyes slowly taking in Cosima’s petite frame--before she took a long drag, held it for a few seconds, and blew out a long stream of smoke.

The movement was enough to snap Cosima back to reality and turn quickly away, face burning. It was only then that she realized Sarah was still talking.

“Cos? Oi, you listenin’ or what?”

“Uh yeah.” Her voice sounded rough. She cleared her throat.

“What’d I just say then, nerdbutt?”

“Um…” Cosima couldn’t help glancing over her shoulder, hoping to catch another glance of the blonde. But she was already gone, walking off alongside two other women and a man who placed his hand on the small of her back.

Disappointment sinking in her gut, Cosima sighed and turned her attention back to the phone conversation. “I’m sorry. I have no freakin’ clue. What were you saying?”

* * *

After another 30 odd minutes of haranguing from her would-be sisters (mostly Alison), Cosima finally got them off the line so she could check out her hotel room. The small space was sparsely furnished, but it was air-conditioned, comfortable, and _—Score!—_ had a well-stocked minibar.

Cosima wasted little time unpacking only the clothes she would need for the evening and tomorrow’s journey with Paul to the Congo rainforest. A quick shower and a room-service dinner later, the scientist found herself lying atop the bed, the darkened room illuminated only by the dim city lights filtering through the sheer curtains. Despite the 18-hour flight, she wasn’t the least bit tired.

She was just too wired. About a zillion and one jumbled thoughts raced through her head--a good number about the research expedition and her family and friends back home. But the vast majority centered on the mystery girl with the sad hazel eyes.

Who was she? Where was she from? Would she ever see her again? Why did she seem so unbearably… burdened? What made her smile, laugh? What would she look like naked, tangled among bed sheets and Cosima’s limbs? Breathtaking, Cosima was sure of it.

The scientist groaned and sat up, glancing at the digital clock on the bedside table. _10:42 p.m._ In less than six hours, she’d have to be up and at ‘em again. What she needed, Cosima decided, was a little something to mellow her out. She jumped out of bed and began rummaging in her luggage for a small lighter and, more importantly, the joint she had carefully smuggled onto the flight and through customs. The brunette had meant to save it, and the others (Rachel and Alison) would probably kill her if they ever found out she smoked it, but…

_Desperate times and all._

Not daring to light up in her room, even with the window open, Cosima slipped on a pair of sneakers and quietly made her way to the floor’s stairwell, climbing up and up until she reached the rooftop.

Cosima paused for a few seconds to let her eyes adjust to the darkness, thankful for at least the silver glow of the moon reflecting off the cloudy sky. The evening air was warm, but not unbearably so. She pulled off her fogging glasses, wiping them with the hem of her black camisole, and made her way past several humming HVAC towers to the roof’s raised edge.

The scientist settled the frames back on her face and let out a low whistle as she peeked over the side at the 20-story drop. Grinning, she rocked back on her heels and took in the twinkling lights along Kinshasa’s velvet horizon.

Just as she was about to pull out her little treat, a soft, feminine voice drifted out of nowhere.

“Bonsoir.”

“Jesus!” Cosima whirled around, hand flying to her chest, heart pounding.

“Desolée. Je ne voulais pas vous surprendre.”

Cosima squinted her eyes and barely made out the figure of a woman leaning against one of the cooling units and smoking a cigarette. Her heart rate skyrocketed.

_It’s her._

The girl from earlier with the cascading blonde waves and the melancholy eyes. She looked tired, but still ridiculously gorgeous.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Cosima managed to force words out of her now parched mouth, which she was sure had been hanging open, as attractive as a dead fish. “I didn’t know anyone would be up here.” Her hands fluttered apologetically through the air. “I mean. Shit. Um… Je suis, um, desolée.”

Cosima cringed as she mangled the French words with her American accent. She mentally kicked herself. _Should’ve taken Rachel’s tutoring more seriously._ “Uh.. Je ne savais pas… um... que quiconque ici.”

She didn’t even know if she was saying the right words. Heat spread across her cheeks as the women regarded her with slightly upturned lips.

“Ce n’est pas grave.” The blonde waved her hand dismissively.

“Ah cool, right.” Cosima nodded. “I’ll just uh…” she motioned awkwardly to the side. “Yeah.”

The brunette groaned internally. It wasn’t like her to be this painfully awkward around pretty girls. _Who am I, Scott!?!?_ But this girl… _Christ, get it together, Cos_. She could practically hear Sarah’s exasperated drawl as she tried to calm her racing heart.

Cosima perched herself atop the rooftop edge and managed to pull out the joint and lighter despite the residual trembling in her fingers. She paused, glancing at the blonde. “Sorry, do you mind if I…?”

The woman shook her head slightly, and Cosima let out a small sigh of relief. She held the joint lightly between her lips and flicked the lighter. A quick spark. But nothing. She shook the lighter and tried again. And again. And yet again. Still nothing. Fuck.

“Need a light?”

Cosima’s head shot up at the gentle lilt of French-accented English. The other woman held up her silver zippo.

“Yeah, thanks. I mean, oui. Merci.”

The edges of the blonde’s eyes crinkled. She stubbed out her own cigarette and closed the distance between them, taking her time (Cosima forced herself not to stare at the sway of her hips), until she was standing in front of the scientist. Instead of handing her the zippo, the blonde flicked it to life herself, holding out the flame for Cosima.

“You’re American,” she said.

“That obvious, huh?” Cosima shot her a self-depreciating smile, thankful she didn’t have to butcher the French language any longer. She leaned her head forward to light the joint, pointedly ignoring the proximity of the other woman’s hands to her face or how the flame cast a soft glow on the blonde’s oh-so-pretty features.

Returning upright, Cosima attempted a long, deep hit. But it’d been forever since the last time she had lit up--more than a year at least--and she ended up choking and hacking for her effort. She vaguely heard the blonde ask if she was okay over her coughs.

The scientist nodded, eyes watering from exertion and mild humiliation. “Oh man,” she finally managed after a few seconds.

“You smoke that almost as well as you speak French,” the blonde quipped.

Cosima let out a small laugh as she cleared her throat one more time. “You making fun of me?” She was already starting to feel more comfortable in the stranger’s presence. “Why don’t you show me how it’s done, then?”

She held out the joint. The blonde bit her bottom lip and, after only a moment’s hesitation, accepted Cosima’s offering and brought it to her mouth. The scientist tried her best not to openly gape as the woman sharply inhaled tendrils of smoke with a smack of her lips, held the breath for several long beats and blew it cleanly out the side of her mouth. She raised one eyebrow as she handed the joint back to Cosima.

 _Well fuck._ That was quite possibly the sexiest thing she had _ever_ seen. She swallowed hard. “You got a name there, expert toker?”

“Delphine.”

“Cosima.”

“Enchantée.”

“Ah. Nice to meet you too.”

Cosima waved a hand toward an empty spot next to her on the ledge, and smiled when Delphine took the invitation and sat down. The scientist took a cleaner hit this time, managing not to cough despite the lingering burn in her throat and chest. They proceeded to pass the joint back and forth between them.

“I’ve seen you before,” Delphine said.

“Oh?” Cosima feigned ignorance. _She remembers me_. Her stomach flipped.

“Yes.” She studied Cosima’s features. “You were outside the hotel earlier this evening.”

“I might...vaguely recall seeing you too, yeah.” _That is, you’re nearly all I’ve been thinking about tonight._ Cosima hoped Delphine didn’t think she was some kind of creeper who had been staring at her.

“Did you just arrive?”

Cosima nodded.

“Business or pleasure?”

“Definitely business,” Cosima answered. Perhaps the pot already was going to her head and stripping her inhibitions, but she couldn’t stop herself from adding, “But maybe a bit of pleasure too. Ask me again in the morning.”

Eyes widening ever so slightly, Delphine shook her head and chuckled. Cosima decided right then and there that she loved that sound. Craved to hear it again.

“Please tell me that line doesn’t actually work on anyone,” the blonde said, head tilted slightly to the side.

Cosima grinned, any previous nervousness dissipating with each hit and being replaced by a fuzzy and carefree weightlessness. “First time for everything.” She winked at Delphine.

“You are quite sure of yourself,” Delphine said, “for someone in pajamas.” The blonde looked pointedly at her attire.

“Ahhh well shit,” Cosima blushed as she glanced down at her baggy red bottoms and black cami. She’d forgotten about that. “My secret weapon. Makes all the girls swoon.”

“Mmm, be still my heart.” Delphine said drily, but good naturedly. Another hit. “So what brings you to DRC?

 _Funny you should ask. I’m actually part of an illegal human cloning trial that nearly made me cough up my lungs, but then I got better. And I just needed to get away for a while. One of my clones owed me, so she pulled some strings, and here I am!_ Said no one to the prettiest girl on the planet, Cosima thought.

Off Delphine’s slack-jawed expression, Cosima’s brow furrowed. _Oh fuck me. Did I say that out loud?_

But before she could backtrack, the blonde burst out into laughter. It was quite possibly the best thing Cosima had ever heard in her life.

She watched as Delphine’s face lit up for the first time and her heart twinged. The scientist was so pleased, more than she had any right to be, that she had (inadvertently) caused such (drug induced) merriment in the other woman; that she had dispelled, if only momentarily, whatever had been weighing her down.

“You.” Delphine wiped tears from the edges of her eyes. “You are so… I don’t even know how to describe you.”

“Irresistibly charming?” Cosima offered with a grin.

“I was thinking more along the lines of...strange.”

 _Ouch._ Cosima barely suppressed the urge the wince, but couldn’t stop the blush staining her cheeks.

“But,” Delphine continued. “I like that. You’re very...imaginative.” She shook her head. “If you can’t talk about your work, you can just say so. I didn’t mean to be so forward.”

“No, no, I can,” Cosima interjected, offering up gratitude to the universe that Delphine had thought she was joking. “I’m studying frogs.”

“Frogs?” Delphine shot her a skeptical look despite her lingering giggles. “Come on. You’re pulling my… what is it? Arm?”

“Ah, leg. And yes, frogs! African dwarf frogs and their regenerative properties, actually.” That was all true. Cosima made a conscious effort to bite her tongue, lest she word vomit all of DYAD’s interests in regrowing limbs or, say, regenerating stem cells. “I’m here to meet up with a research team in the rainforest for the next two months.”

“You’re a scientist.” Something sparked underneath Delphine’s long lashes.

“Yup, evolutionary developmental biology.” Cosima stretched her arms upward and laced her fingers behind her head, arching her back. “Not all that exciting, I guess.” She dropped her arms back down to her sides.

“I think it is,” Delphine said, sincerely. “I studied microbiology at university. I thought about pursuing a PhD in immunology, but med school won out in the end.”

 _Oh jeez, hot_ and _smart._ Cosima was about ready to swoon. "So you’re a doctor?”

Not just any doctor, but one with Medicins Sans Frontieres. _Hot, smart_ and _altruistic._ _Could this girl be any more perfect?_

Over the course of the next hour, the Cosima learned that Dr. Delphine Cormier was on leave in the capital for the next two days before she kicked off the last three months of her 9-month assignment in one of the northern provinces.

She also found that she could add _humble_ to the list of traits of her new found crush, as Delphine downplayed her work in the DRC and was especially reticent about discussing her previous tours of duty. Cosima at least discovered that Delphine first experienced field work in the West Bank, living in Jerusalem and commuting to Ramallah. She wanted to know more, but a pained shadow etched across Delphine’s delicate features. The doctor’s hand reached up to rub a spot on the right side of her chest, and she changed the subject.

Sometime past midnight, the marijuana long gone, Cosima flippantly invited Delphine for a drink in her room, knowing full well Paul would be booting her ass out of bed in a few short hours. She just couldn’t bring herself to say goodbye, not knowing if they would ever see each other again. Cosima hadn’t expected Delphine to accept. But to her pleasant surprise, the doctor agreed.

And that was how Cosima found herself sitting atop her bed at nearly 1 a.m. with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, swigging tiny bottles of vodka raided from the room’s minibar.

With the alcohol’s aid, Cosima managed to cull a few more tidbits about Delphine—she was born in Paris but moved with her mom to Quebec during high school after her parents’ divorce. Her hobbies included yoga and percussion (“I’m as good as Ringo Starr!”). And her guilty pleasures were hamburgers and ‘90s sitcoms (she apparently could still rap the opening theme of _The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_ ).

In return, Cosima regaled Delphine with anecdotes about her own childhood in San Francisco (like the one time she drove her parents’ sedan into their shed in a physics experiment gone horribly awry… at the age of 6), Eskimo pies (“I’m a craven addict.”), and her “sisters” in Toronto (this time, without mentioning the “c-word.”)

They were both leaning back against the headboard, their laughter dying down, when Delphine, face delightfully flushed, twisted her body to face Cosima.

“You know I’ve never done this before,” she said softly, her hazel eyes now glassy and dark.

“What?” The brunette was nicely buzzed, and she knew it wasn’t all due to the vodka.

“This.” Delphine motioned between them, but didn’t further elaborate.

“No?”

Delphine shook her head.

“Well that makes two of us,” Cosima quietly admitted, holding Delphine’s gaze until it began to feel a little too intense. She broke the eye contact and downed the rest of her drink. “Guess we can both cross it off our bucket lists.”

“Bucket list?” The blonde furrowed her brow. “What is that?”

"Oh, uh, it’s a list of things you want to do before you, you know, kick the bucket.” Off Delphine’s confused expression, she added, “Er, bite it?”

“Bite what?”

“The dust.”

“Why would you do that? It’s unsanitary.”

Cosima chuckled. “Nevermind. It just means things you want to do before you die.”

“But what does kicking a bucket have to do with it?”

The scientist laughed. “Your guess is as good as mine, man.”

Delphine nodded and was quiet for a beat before she said, “So this was on your… your bucket list?”

“Not specifically, no.” Cosima shrugged, meeting the blonde’s eyes. Her mouth felt dry. “But, can’t say I’m against traveling to a new continent, getting high with a beautiful woman, and luring her into bed at least once in my life.”

The doctor remained still, studying Cosima’s face. “I suppose it has a... certain appeal,” she finally replied.

The brunette began to feel self-conscious and was about to crack a joke when Delphine suddenly reached out and took her hand. The contact nearly caused Cosima to jump right out of her skin.

“I can’t even remember the last time I enjoyed myself this much,” Delphine said, her voice low. “Thank you.”

Cosima tried to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. “Yeah, ditto.”

Delphine had yet to release her hand, and Cosima couldn’t focus on anything but the warmth of the blonde’s palm, the softness of her long, delicate fingers as they brushed lightly across her knuckles.

The air in the room became charged and heavy, silent save for the sound of the blood rushing through Cosima’s ears. She vaguely wondered if Delphine could hear her heart, given the way it hammered against her ribs. The mattress dipped slightly as Delphine inched closer...or was it Cosima? The brunette wasn’t sure. Delphine smelled like lilacs and smoke, sweet and mellow. Her gaze dropped to Delphine’s lips and she unconsciously licked her own. The scientist could feel the warmth of Delphine’s breath. She closed her eyes, leaned in…

And was met by the shrill ring of a cell phone and empty space as Delphine jolted away.

“Merde.”

Disoriented, Cosima’s eyes snapped open. Delphine had swung her legs off the side of the bed. She wriggled her phone from her pocket and answered it.

“Allo? Oui, ça va.”

Cosima leaned back against the headboard with a sigh, trying her best to translate the one-sided conversation. Although she could pick out one or two words here and there, Delphine spoke much too quickly for her to follow completely.

“Je suis a l’hôtel. Oui.” Delphine glanced over her shoulder at Cosima. “J'ai pris un verre avec quelqu'un et je n'ai pas vu le temps passé.”

The scientist felt the blonde’s eyes on her and she offered her a small smile.

“Je serai bientôt de retour. Oui. À tout de suite.”

She hung up the phone, slipped it back in her pocket, and gave Cosima an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I’ve been rooming with one of the other volunteers and I think she was worried I might have gotten myself kidnapped.”

“No worries.” Cosima waved it off. She wanted to pick up where they left off, but the phone call had dispelled the heady tension between them. Only an awkward silence remained.

“I should probably go.” Delphine cleared her throat and stood up, teetering slightly from the alcohol. She turned back toward Cosima and slid her hands into the back pockets of her black jeans.

 _No, please stay,_ Cosima’s heart wanted to beg, pitifully, but her mind forced her mouth to say instead, “Yeah, it’s super late.” Her hands twirled with nervous energy. “I’ve gotta get up in a few hours too.”

She got up and the room swayed, like she was on the deck of a rocking boat, but she still managed to walk Delphine to the door. Cosima wondered what the proper etiquette would be in this strange situation. Should she ask for her number? Should she give Delphine hers? Could she ask to see her again? Would that even be possible?

But before her internal debate continued to rage much longer, Delphine quietly asked, “Do you have anything to write with?”

“Oh, uh, maybe on the desk?”

Delphine nodded and made her way over to the tabletop. She found a pen and a small pad of paper in one of the drawers. Bending down, the blonde quickly scribbled two strings of numbers on the sheet. She straightened back up, glancing shyly at Cosima.

“Cell phones don’t really work well outside of the cities, but I have a satellite phone.” Delphine bit her lip. “If you ever want to talk…”

“Of course!” Cosima nearly grimaced at her overly enthusiastic response.

Delphine smiled, looking relieved. She walked back to the door and stood in front of Cosima.

“How do you say, ‘until next time,’ in French?” The scientist asked suddenly.

“À la prochaine.”

“Okay, then, à la prochaine.” Cosima’s French accent fared no better after a joint and vodka, but Delphine chuckled affectionately nonetheless.

She reached for the door knob, paused, and then swiftly turned around again, pressing a quick kiss on both of Cosima’s cheeks before the scientist could even think to react.

“Ciao,” Delphine breathed out one last time before slipping out.

“Bye. Ciao.” Cosima belatedly replied at the closed door, cheeks still tingling from the memory of Delphine’s soft lips. “Oh man.”

The scientist flopped backward on the bed, staring up at the spinning ceiling with what she was sure was the dopiest grin. But she didn’t care. She had just met the most beautiful girl ever, and she had never felt more alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story and chapter titles borrowed from Mute Math songs. I don't speak French at all, so I welcome any and all tips/suggestions.


	2. No Better Loss (Than to Lose Myself in You)

Three days after her chance encounter with a certain eccentric scientist, Dr. Delphine Cormier found herself back at the makeshift medical clinic in Mbandaka where she had worked the last six months. The capital of DRC’s Equateur province lay several hundred kilometers northeast of Kinshasa along the Congo River. Even after all that time, the transition from Kinshasa, with its paved thoroughfares and high rise buildings, to the dusty dirt roads and poverty of Mbandaka still jarred the doctor and made her heart ache.

It would be so much easier if she could just stop feeling, like her mentor from the West Bank had told her. _Don’t get emotionally involved,_ he had said. _It’s the only way to survive out here._

Lord knows Delphine had tried, but she never could turn off her heart completely. Even if it was killing her. She could, however, do the next best thing.

Freeze her emotions and forget, if only for a little while.

In the heat of the packed clinic, Delphine could lose herself in treating the sick and the injured. She eased their suffering, while ignoring hers. Offered comfort and gave them hope, even when it seemed she had none of her own. There, she could forget about the horrors she had seen, all the hurt and suffering and inequality. Forget about heartbreaks she had endured, restless nights, haunted dreams. Numb herself against phantom pains that seared along old scars.

The only things that mattered were the people who needed her, right then and there.

But in the quiet moments - when she carved out time to enjoy a cigarette or when she finally collapsed, exhausted, onto the empty bed in her assigned quarters -- it all came flooding back. The heavy shadow of her failures--of those she had been unable to save--enveloped her. That never-ending cycle had repeated for so long that it had become second nature to her.

But now things had changed.

Now when Delphine least expected it, her thoughts drifted to Cosima, with her easygoing grin and bright laugh, her clever wit and kind brown eyes. The blonde doctor would smile as she recalled how the bespectacled American had butchered the French language--something that normally incensed Delphine to no end. But Cosima had been so sincere in her effort that Delphine couldn’t help but feel charmed--a feeling quite foreign to her these past few years.

Delphine had taken to repeatedly checking her satellite phone for any messages or missed calls -- discreetly, or so she had thought. Her well-meaning, but ultimately nosey colleagues had picked up on her new behavior almost instantly.

“Has he called yet?” One of the other doctors, Ava, asked in their native French tongue during their lunch break. Delphine had first met Ava Berman years ago in Jerusalem when they both were volunteering with the Red Crescent. Ava had been one of her only friends there, had seen the toll the work was taking on Delphine, and had remained by her side even after her world was upended.

“Has who called yet?” Delphine asked.

The two women sat outside the clinic against a tall Manilkara tree, its long finger-like green leaves providing some welcome shade against the blazing mid-day sun.

“Your mystery guy,” the dark-haired physician replied before stuffing balls of rice and fish into her mouth.

“There is no mystery guy,” Delphine maintained, not bothering to correct her friend’s gender assumption. She couldn’t really explain why, but she wanted to keep Cosima to herself.

“Stop being coy, Delphine,” Ava continued as she chewed. “ _Everyone_ knows you were out all night with him in Kinshasa.” She swallowed. “And you never do that, not since the West Bank anyway. So spill.”

Delphine took a bite of her own food and made a mental note to kill Valerie Nadeau, the gossipy nurse who just happened to be her hotel roommate in Kinshasa. Make it look like an accident.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“You know, it drove Grenier mad when he found out.” Ava grinned slyly. “Or was that your plan all along?”

“Don’t be crazy.” The blonde doctor inwardly groaned. Dr. Antoine Grenier had once asked her out to dinner and she had accepted. They had kissed, against her better judgment. It was nice. But just nice. She now regretted her decision. “Antoine and I are colleagues, friends. Nothing more.”

“If you say so.”

 Delphine quickly finished her lunch and stood, dusting dirt from the back of her khaki pants. “I have to get back,” she told Ava.

"Yeah, yeah,” Ava waved her off.

She was about to turn and leave when the brunette suddenly grabbed her wrist. “Delphine, look, I just want you to be happy. We all do. You know that, right?”

The blonde felt herself soften toward her old friend, giving her a small smile of gratitude. “I know.”

_I’d be happier,_ Delphine thought as she re-entered the clinic, _if I could just hear from Cosima._

She knew it was ridiculous to think that way, like she was some smitten school girl. It was completely irrational, completely illogical. She had spent all of three hours with Cosima. She barely knew her. And yet… she couldn’t help but feel that they shared a connection that night, a spark. Something that drew them together, beyond reason, beyond common sense.

_God knows what would have happened if Valerie hadn’t called when she did._ Would Cosima have kissed her? More importantly, would Delphine have kissed her back? She had never considered bisexuality before, not for herself at least. But she knew sexuality was fluid, a spectrum. And Cosima? Well she was unlike anyone the blonde had ever met. With a shake of her head, Delphine pushed the thoughts aside the moment set foot inside the clinic, again immersing herself in patient care.

But when the chaos of her days died down, she continued to wonder about Cosima. Where was she now? Had she reached her destination? Why hadn’t she asked for Cosima’s number in the first place?

Three days turned into a week, one week turned into two, and still Delphine hadn’t heard from Cosima. Disappointment turned to worry (Did something happen to her? Is she even alive?). Worry morphed into anger (Well, fuck you too, Cosima and your stupid glasses and crazy hair!). And anger finally melted into resignation.

By the end of the third week, she resolved to forget that she had ever met the American scientist. And everything returned to normal.

* * *

Delphine arrived at the clinic a little before 7 a.m., still half asleep and nursing a raging hangover from a late night with Ava and Valerie. She just couldn’t say no to vodka, apparently, and now had throbbing temples and a queasy stomach to show for it. Nevertheless, she still managed to throw a smile and a _Bon Jour_ to the Mbandaka residents already congregating in the small waiting area.

As she approached the nurse’s station, she saw Valerie slumped forward on a desk, sifting through a tiny mountain of medical charts. It made the doctor feel a little better knowing she wasn’t the only one in dire straits.

“What’s your pleasure, doc?” Valerie asked in French.

“Anything, everything,” Delphine said.

“So the usual.” The auburn-haired nurse squinted at the files with bloodshot eyes. “We’ve got an American here this morning. Don’t see that every day.”

“An American?”

“A scientist, possible ankle sprain. Real messy.”

Delphine instantly snapped to attention at the word “scientist.”

“Messy?”

“Came in covered in mud.” Valerie yawned and stretched her arms out. “Something about catching frogs. I don’t know. She spoke too fast. I couldn’t follow her English very well.”

“Frogs?”

“Yes, frogs,” Valerie said. “Is there an echo in here or am I really that hungover?”

“Sorry,” Delphine said, shaking her head. Female American scientist working with frogs? It was probably just a coincidence.

The nurse handed the file over. “I already took vitals. Bed five.”

Delphine took two steps from the nurse’s station and froze when she read the name on the patient’s chart: Cosima Niehaus.

Her heart started beating in triple time.

“Something wrong, doc?” Valerie asked.

“No.” Delphine shook her head and proceeded down a narrow hallway.

As she approached the curtain covering the exam room’s entrance, she picked up a pair of voices--a woman and a man--speaking English in hushed tones.

“Dude, do you really have to narc on me to Rachel?”

Delphine’s breath hitched in her throat at the sound of Cosima’s voice.

“I have my orders,” a gravelly voice replied. “She’ll want to know about this.”

“Yeah, well, she’d also want to know about all the times you moon over Sarah and you don’t see me flapping my gums to her about it.”

The man scoffed and Delphine--starting to feel guilty for eavesdropping--cleared her throat to announce her presence. She sucked in a deep breath and pulled back the curtain.

Cosima was… quite a sight.

Seated in the middle of an exam table, the scientist indeed looked messy, just as Valerie had described. Nearly every inch of her was covered in wet, dark mud that clung to her black tank top and khaki cargo pants. Her right foot was bare, black boot and sock pulled off. Dried mud, cracked and peeling, caked nearly every inch of exposed skin, up and down her arms, chest, and neck. Only her dreads, twisted up in a bun, seemed to have escaped relatively unscathed. Faint streaks of dirt ran across Cosima’s face, which bore a shocked expression that quickly transformed into utter delight.

“Of all the clinics in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine,” Cosima said through clenched teeth in a strange sort of American drawl.

Delphine didn’t think it was possible, but Cosima might even be stranger sober.

“C’mon!” Cosima said as the silence ticked on. “Bogart? Casablanca? Paul, help a girl out.”

The scientist looked toward her companion, a handsome man with close cropped blonde hair, blue eyes, and stubbled jaw. He wore black pants and an olive green shirt, also soiled along his right side, most likely from assisting Cosima.

“Sorry, doctor?” Paul said.

“Cormier.”

“You’ll have to forgive my friend, Dr. Cormier. She must’ve hit her head in addition to twisting her ankle.”

Cosima playfully gave him the middle finger before turning her attention back to Delphine.

“Seriously though, I thought I’d never see you again! I mighta sorta dropped my phone in the Congo.” Cosima’s hands twisted and whipped through the air as she spoke. “I wish I had an eidetic memory, but I don’t, so I had no way of calling you because I didn’t remember your number.”

Cosima seemed to grow more flustered the longer she continued to ramble and Delphine remained quiet. She was so cute. Still, she wasn’t above letting the scientist squirm for a few more minutes.

“I apologize,” Delphine said, deliberately leaving her expression neutral. “Have we met before?”

The scientist’s face fell and Delphine very nearly caved right then and there.

“Cosima.” The brunette touched her chest. “From the hotel? In Kinshasa?”

“Cosima from the hotel in Kinshasa.” Delphine scrunched up brow, as if searching for a memory. “Did we meet at the bar?”

The brunette looked downright crestfallen. “Uh, no, the roof?”

“You were on the roof?” Paul cut in gruffly.

Cosima muttered what sounded like, “Still the premises, narc,” causing Paul to sigh.

“Of course I remember you, Cosima.” Delphine smiled and the scientist visibly brightened. “But I had to make sure you were really you and not a clone.”

“Ahhh haha.” Cosima’s eyes slid briefly, almost nervously, to Paul. Delphine didn’t know quite what to make of it. “You remember that?”

“Clone.” Paul repeated, crossing his arms.

“Weed, man.” The scientist grinned sheepishly. “Makes you say the wackiest shit.”

“I’ll say,” Delphine said. “Your friend has quite the imagination, um, Mr…?”

“Dierden. But please, call me Paul.”

They shook hands just as his phone started ringing. Paul pulled it out of his pocket and checked the number. “I have to take this.” He looked at Cosima. “You gonna be okay?”

“Of course not,” she deadpanned. “How will I ever manage without you?”

Paul merely raised an eyebrow at the scientist before excusing himself.

“So.” Delphine stood in front of the scientist. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Ah yeah, so, those African tree frogs? You may or may not know, but they’re nocturnal. It was my turn to check the traps this morning. Dark rainforest, slippery footing. Don’t need a doctorate to figure out the rest.”

Delphine took Cosima’s right foot in her hands and gingerly inspected the ankle, taking note of the purple bruising and swelling along the fibula.

“I told them I’d be fine, but Paul insisted I get it checked out.” Cosima rolled her eyes. “Guess I’m lucky you guys were the closest medical facility to where we’re stationed.”

“Did you hear or feel anything pop or snap when you injured yourself?”

“No I don’t think so.” The scientist hissed in pain when Delphine gently flexed her foot.

“Sorry.” Delphine winced in sympathy. “Any pain here?” She placed one hand along

Cosima’s calf, rested the other above her knee and, and bent her leg gently.

The scientist shook her head.

“Okay.” Delphine stood up. “The good news is it doesn’t look broken. Bad news, you definitely sprained it.”

“Great.”

“You’ll need to stay off the ankle for a bit, which means no chasing frogs in the middle of the night, I’m afraid,” the doctor said. “I’ll have one of the nurses bring some ice and ibuprofen, have you elevate your foot, see if we can bring down the swelling. I’m not sure if we have any ankle braces, but if not, I can at least wrap it for you and splint it. It’s a mild sprain, but I’d still recommend some type of assistive walking device.”

“Assistive… you mean like a cane or something?” Cosima grimaced. “Dude no, I’d never live that one down.”

Delphine crossed her arms at the scientist. “We also have crutches. You’re free to do as you wish, of course, but you’ll only wind up back here if you exacerbate your injury.”

Cosima tilted her head to the side, considering her options. “I guess if I got to see you again,” she said slowly, “that might be a price I’d be willing to pay.”

Delphine felt heat in her cheeks. “You don’t need an injury to see me.”

Cosima grinned, eyes twinkling behind her black-rimmed frames. “Good to know.”

The blonde cleared her throat. “Do you have a change of clothes? We have extra scrubs, if you’d like.”

“Yeah that’d be great.”

“Okay, I’ll check back in with you in a bit. Try to stay out of trouble.”

* * *

 

It took about an hour or so of rounds until Delphine made her way back to Cosima. The scientist had since shed her soiled clothing and scrubbed the muck off most of her body. She now wore a clean pair of blue medical scrubs--about three sizes too large—that adorably tented her slender frame. Lying flat on her back with her leg raised, Cosima chatted animatedly with Valerie, who was giggling like a schoolgirl at whatever tale the brunette was spinning.

As soon as Cosima spotted Delphine, however, the scientist gave her another one of her broad grins that the doctor was beginning to realize was a trademark of her effusive charm. She wondered if Cosima used that smile on everyone, her gaze sliding to Valerie. The thought made her jaw clench involuntarily.

“There you are!” Cosima exclaimed. “Thought you forgot about me.”

“Somehow, I do not think that would be possible.”The words were out before the doctor could stop herself. Delphine didn’t know why she seemingly had no filter around Cosima, her every thought flying freely out of her mouth. That first night they met, she had blamed it on the marijuana and the vodka. Now, she had no excuse.

“Cosima tells me you two met in Kinshasa the last time we were in town,” Valerie spoke up in English—for the scientist’s benefit.

“That’s right,” Delphine said. No use in denying it.

She knew the red-haired nurse had already put two-and-two together. Judging by the amused glint in Valerie’s green eyes, Delphine knew that the clinic’s entire staff would know this new tidbit of information by lunchtime, if not earlier.

“I was committing first-degree murder on my French,” Cosima chimed in, oblivious to the unspoken conversation between the doctor and the nurse. “Valerie here’s been kind enough to tutor me.”

“Oh really? Let’s hear some.”

“Je parle français, mais pas bien.”

Cosima’s accent was slightly better, but not by much, still all blunt syllables and hard consonants. Valerie and Delphine both laughed at her attempt.

“Better keep practicing.” Valerie winked at the scientist. “I’d better get back on the floor. It was nice meeting you, Cosima. Don’t be a stranger.”

Cosima gave a little wave at the departing nurse.

“All right,” Delphine said. “Let’s wrap that ankle and get you out of here.”

Cosima swung her legs off the side of the bed and sat up. Delphine squatted down and examined the ankle one last time, pleased that the swelling was less pronounced.

“I’ve been thinking,” Cosima said as Delphine began to expertly wind a bandage around Cosima’s foot, heel, and ankle. “It’s good you never went into research.”

“Why is that?”

“You’ve got, like, killer hands.”

Delphine stilled and her eyes shot up. Even though she knew Cosima meant to praise her, she must have looked bewildered because the scientist backtracked instantly.

“Oh shit, I didn’t mean it like that.” Cosima waved both hands apologetically. “Probably not the best compliment to give a doctor. I just meant, you’re really gentle. You have what my mom would call a healer’s hands. Would’ve been wasted locked up in a lab somewhere.”

“Your mom… is she a doctor too?” Delphine smiled and resumed her task.

“Yeah, mostly focused on holistic medicine. Really into the whole emotional and spiritual aspects of healing or whatever.”

“You don’t believe in it?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly. I know there are a shit-ton of things as of yet unexplained by science. But I guess I take more after my dad. He’s a chem professor. His philosophy is more, ‘show, don’t tell.’” Cosima shrugged. “I sometimes wonder how he and my mom ever got along. But seriously, though, you just seem really good at what you do.”

“That is very kind of you, but I think a lot of people could bandage a sprained ankle as well as or better than me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Dr. Cormier. I might have taken a peek at you with the other patients. I’m sure it’s not just me who feels this way.”

“Thank you,” Delphine said softly, feeling embarrassed. She had received gratitude before, but hearing Cosima’s compliment made her heart swell. She tried not to wonder why, and instead focused on strapping a brace around Cosima’s ankle.

“Voulez-vous aller déjeuner avec moi?”

The question, spoken with a near perfect accent, caught Delphine off guard. There was no one else in the exam room. It actually did come from Cosima.

“Been practicing that one all morning.” The scientist smiled shyly, in stark contrast to her usual outgoing confidence. “So would you? Like to have lunch with me?”

“I don’t normally go out with patients.” Delphine stood, placing her hands in the pockets of her white medical coat. She tried for stern, but couldn’t stop the corner of her lips from turning up slightly.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing I’ll be discharged soon, isn’t it?” Cosima gripped the sides of the mattress and gave her _that_ grin. “So whaddya say, doc?”

Before Delphine could respond, someone lightly coughed behind her. She turned and found Paul standing by the exam room curtain.

“Ugh you again,” Cosima rolled her eyes at the newcomer.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we need to return to camp,” Paul said. “You have a teleconference scheduled.”

“With who?”

Paul tilted his head at her, like she should know better.

“Right.” Cosima grimaced.

“Some other time then,” Delphine said, doing her best to ignore the disappointment sinking in her stomach.

“Totally.”

The doctor helped pull the scientist to her feet. She wobbled a bit and her hand shot out to grip Delphine’s arm, steadying herself. The blonde in turn grasped the other woman’s forearms. She resisted the urge to smooth her thumbs along the nautilus shell and dandelion fluff tattooed onto Cosima’s soft, warm skin.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cosima placed some of her weight on her injured ankle. “It’s not as bad as earlier.”

“That’s good,” Delphine realized she was still holding Cosima and quickly released her. “It’s a fairly mild sprain, but I still recommend the crutches, at least for the next week or two.”

“Duly noted, doc,” Cosima said in such a way that made Delphine question her sincerity in following her medical advice. “À la prochaine.”

* * *

The next time turned out to be a few days later. Delphine’s heart practically leapt from her chest the minute she saw Cosima hobble back into the clinic, Paul again in tow but without crutches (much to the doctor’s chagrin). After giving the scientist a small lecture about the probability of aggravating her injury, which an unconcerned Cosima waved off, Delphine brought Cosima to a tiny, family-run Congolese restaurant near the clinic for lunch. They shared a simple meal of peanut soup and fufu. Delphine demonstrated how to eat the doughy cassava-based staple by pinching a piece, forming it into a round ball, and dipping into the soup.

“This is amazing,” Cosima exclaimed after her first bite. “Totally owns the rations we have at the camp.”

“Are you sure you we shouldn’t invite your friend to join us?”

“Who, Paul? Nah. He has business he needs to take care of in town or something. I’ll save some for him though.”

Cosima took in a particularly large mouthful of fufu, causing some of the soup to dribble down her chin. “Oh man, I bet that’s attractive.” She quickly swiped her mouth with a napkin.

“If only you were wearing your pajamas, I would hardly be able to contain myself.”

The scientist laughed and flicked her off good-naturedly. Delphine noticed that Cosima still had a bit of soup near the corner of her lips.

“You, uh, you missed spot.” Delphine pointed to the side of her own mouth, resisting the urge to reach out and help Cosima. The doctor’s eyes were glued to Cosima’s lips as the brunette’s tongue darted out and licked away the remaining drop.

“Did I get it?”

Delphine’s gaze snapped back up to Cosima’s playful brown eyes. “You got it.” She licked her lips and swallowed against an increasingly parched throat, taking a sip of water to hide the blush that was most likely staining her cheeks. “So, you were going to tell me about your dissertation.”

“Oh right. Epigenetic influence on clone cells.”

“Clones again.” Delphine smiled, shaking her head. “Are you being serious this time?”

“Totally, totally serious.”

“Okay. So what is it with you and clones? What drew you to that subject area?”

A strange sort of expression that Delphine couldn’t quite read passed over Cosima’s face before the scientist shrugged and pinched off another piece of fufu.

“I’ve always been interested in the whole nature versus nurture question. And what better way would there be to study gene expression than through genetic identicals?”

“It’s definitely a riveting subject.” Delphine nodded in agreement. “What types of clone cells did you research?”

“Mostly amphibians, some bacteria, a few insects.”

“You know what would have been fascinating?”

“What?”

“An epigenetic study on human clones.” Cosima fumbled the ball of cassava into her soup. “Moral and ethical issues aside,” Delphine continued, oblivious, “can you imagine what it’d be like if scientists actually managed to clone us?”

“That’d… that’d be something all right,” Cosima said as she fished the fufu out with her thumb and forefinger, glancing up to make eye contact with the doctor. “Like, what if there were a dozen versions of me out there?”

Delphine leaned back in her chair, unconsciously sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m not sure the world could handle more than one of you.”

The brunette chuckled nervously. It was a curious reaction.

“Tell me more,” Delphine said.

And so Cosima did.

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, Cosima dropped by frequently, sometimes as often as every other day, trading stories with Delphine over lunch. Cosima’s visits, short as they were, quickly became the highlight of Delphine’s day. They never discussed their evening in Kinshasa or their near kiss. Delphine didn’t know whether she felt relieved or disappointed.

Sometimes Cosima brought other scientists, sometimes not (the most notable was a cute genetic sequencing tech named Scott Smith, who goofily grinned whenever Delphine, or any other female really, spoke to him). The one constant was Paul, who mostly kept to himself, scanning the streets and the frequent passersby - looking for what, Delphine had no clue. Wherever Cosima went, Paul was never far off, trailing like a ghost.

Her curiosity got the better of her during one of their meals.

“Why doesn’t he ever join us?” she asked. “Aren’t you friends?”

“Sort of,” Cosima answered slowly, reluctantly. “He’s more like, um, personal security for... for the team.”

“How can he be protecting your team when he’s always with you?” Delphine raised an eyebrow. “You must be pretty important to have your own body guard.”

“Nah, DYAD’s just a little overprotective of its, uh, assets,” Cosima was going for nonchalant, but Delphine could tell that the scientist was becoming uncomfortable. Her normally bright smile wasn’t quite reaching her eyes.

“I guess I cannot say that surprises me.”

“What’s that?”

“That you’re invaluable.” Delphine couldn’t stop herself from reaching out, covering Cosima’s hand, and giving it a light squeeze. Her heart fluttered when Cosima turned her hand over and squeezed back.

Whenever Delphine couldn’t leave the clinic right away, Cosima made a habit of befriending the rest of the staff and the patients, practicing her French, making people laugh. She was a ball of energy, brightening everyone’s day.

One afternoon, she showed up to the clinic and began passing out bunches and bunches of flowers. Petals in various hues of orange, yellow, pink, purple blossomed from blade-like stalks.

“Found a patch of these out in the rainforest this morning,” the scientist grinned. “I’ve been told that these are gladioli, from the latin _gladius,_ which means…”

“Sword,” Delphine finished. “Sword lilies. They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

From a nearby seat in the waiting room, an elderly patient spoke up in Lingala, addressing the doctor with a smile. Although Delphine wasn’t fluent in the language, she had absorbed enough over the last few months to understand a few words.

“Do you know what she’s saying?” Cosima said.

“A little bit.”

“How many languages do you speak anyway?”

“Only French and English really. A bit of Arabic, Hebrew. Some Lingala.”

“Oh is that all?” Cosima shook her head in mock disgust. “Slacker.”

Delphine laughed and turned her attention back to the patient. “She says the flowers symbolize strength and, um, integrity, I think.”

“Perfect for you then.” Cosima cleared her throat and waved her hands to encompass the entire clinic. “I mean all of you. Obvs.”

The older woman continued to speak, dark eyes twinkling in delight even as she made stabbing motions to her chest.

“What’s that all about?” Cosima asked as she handed a bouquet of deep red blooms to Delphine.

“She says…” Delphine suppressed a slight shiver as her fingers lightly brushed Cosima’s. “She says you can give the flowers to tell someone that… that your heart has been pierced by… by passion.”

“Oh.” Cosima blushed to the roots of her dreads and rubbed the back of her neck. “That’s, uh, that’s… interesting. Learn something new every day.”

The scientist said no more and continued to give out flowers. It wasn’t until much later, after Cosima had returned to her research camp, that Delphine noticed that hers were the only ones in shades of crimson.

As the days went on, it seemed as if nearly everyone looked forward to Cosima, most especially the children. The brunette began setting up simple science experiments for them. One time, she managed to get her hands on some baking soda and vinegar and cobbled together rudimentary “volcanoes” using empty glass bottles and clumps of mud.

From one of the clinic’s windows, Delphine watched Cosima excitedly wave her hands in the air as she explained, in an adorable mix of English and broken French, the chemical reaction between sodium bicarbonate and diluted acetic acid to create carbon dioxide. Cosima helped the children pour the vinegar into the volcanoes, and the resulting foamy eruptions caused squeals of delight to fill the air.

“So cute.” Ava appeared out of nowhere and stood next to Delphine, who abruptly tore her eyes from Cosima and looked down to study the charts clutched in her hands.

“They are,” she murmured in assent.

“Why didn’t you tell us she was the mystery man from Kinshasa?”

“It didn’t seem important.” Delphine shrugged. “And you all were perfectly happy to make assumptions.”

“Hmm.” Ava was silent for a beat. “Interesting.”

“What?” Delphine glanced back at the other doctor, who seemed to be studying her.

“Nothing. It’s just… you seem different lately.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.” Ava gave her a knowing smile before walking away. “Whatever’s changed, it’s a good thing.

Delphine took one last look out the window. As if sensing the doctor’s gaze, Cosima looked up and saw her. She grinned broadly and waved. Cosima practically smiled at everyone she met. But there was something about the way Cosima smiled at only Delphine, with such soft affection in her eyes. It made her knees weak.

And something melted inside her.


	3. No Better Find (Than to Find Myself With You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties in this chapter with what happens at the end of Inch'Allah. But even though I made a key change, I wanted to give a spoiler alert just in case for anyone who hasn't seen the movie. Also, thanks to everyone reading this story. It means the world to me! Got one more installment planned (the epilogue) and I hope to finish it soon-ish.

"So you gettin' laid tonight or what?"

"What?" Cosima hands stilled momentarily as she looped her dreads up in a clockwise bun, practically gaping at the laptop sitting on top of a small foldout table. "Sarah, don't be ridiculous."

The grainy digital image of the punk rock genetic identical smirked. "Mmmhmm. So no hot doctors in your geek orbit then?"

"No." Though, truth be told, Cosima wouldn't mind spiraling with a certain gorgeous blonde physician.

"My intel tells me otherwise."

Cosima continued to move about her small white DYAD tent in nothing but her favorite pair of underwear—predominantly black but with a colorful pattern that reminded her of a stained-glass window. "And what intel is that, exactly?"

"Oh, I dunno, that you wiped out in the rainforest, cocked up your ankle, got fixed up at some clinic and have been hanging around there ever since," Sarah said, ticking off the points on her fingers. "Ring any bells in that brilliant mind of yours?"

"Nope."

Cosima silently cursed Paul and his monitoring, as well as the woman pulling his strings. Even though she knew he was just doing his job, Cosima still briefly fantasized about slipping laxatives in the man's canteen before the next long boat trip, or tampering with Rachel's shampoo bottles. She wondered if her corporate-clone sister would be fond of bright fuschia hair.

"Look, I don't know what Paul's been telling you," Cosima started as she shimmied inside a pair of dark purple jeans, flatteringly snug and form-fitting.

"Haven't been talking to Paul."

"Rachel?" Cosima scoffed. "No way."

"Please." Felix Dawkins appeared on the computer screen, nudging Sarah to the side with a sly smile. "Who needs the S&M fuck buddies when someone's baby daddy is an expert hacker?"

Cosima didn't know what was more incredible-the fact that Sarah somehow convinced Cal to hack into Rachel's files or that Rachel had been compiling the files to begin with. No. Scratch that. She had no problem whatsoever believing control-freak Rachel would have a compulsive need to know everything about everyone during Cosima's trip as a security precaution. DYAD had many enemies. But still…

"Is it really too much to ask for even just a modicum of privacy?" Cosima asked, exasperated.

"Come on, Cos, don't be that way." Sarah at least had the decency to look mildly remorseful. "We only hear from you once every few weeks. We miss you. We want to know you're doing all right."

"And Ms. '62 Margeaux," Felix added, mimicking Rachel's proper pronunciation and cadence, "is _so_ uptight that if we shoved a piece of coal up her arse, it'd turn into a glittering diamond long before she'd tell us anything."

Cosima couldn't help but chuckle while she pulled on a gray and black sleeveless blouse.

"Hold on," Felix said. "Is that what you're wearing?" His dark lined eyes squinted with unmasked disapproval.

"What's wrong with it?" Cosima asked, looking down at herself.

"Nothing," he sniffed. "If you _don't_ want a shag, that is. I thought you said you were going to a party."

"An independence day celebration. Down by the river. Doesn't exactly call for cocktail attire." Cosima sat on her cot to pull on her boots. "Besides, no one is shagging." _Unfortunately._

"Right," Sarah cut back in. "So no interest in, say, an Ava Berman or a Valerie Nadeau." Cosima rolled her eyes and ignored her. "How about a Delphine Cormier?"

The scientist's head shot up before she could stop herself.

"I knew it!" Sarah clapped. "Pay up, Fe!"

Felix's eyes nearly disappeared into the back of his head and he slapped several dollar bills into Sarah's outstretched hand. "I'm disappointed in you, Cosima. The willowy blonde? I thought for sure you'd go for the fiery redhead."

"Wait, you have pictures of them?"

"Paul and Rachel are nothing if not thorough," Sarah shrugged and answered matter-of-factly. "Practically have their entire life stories." She raised an eyebrow and gave her a devilish half-smile. "You interested?"

 _Yes._ "No."

"You sure? Your girlfriend had quite the time in the West Bank by the looks of it."

"Okay, one, she's not my girlfriend." Cosima shuffled toward the laptop, her shoes making a zipping sound against the nylon fabric of the tent. She hoped that the choppy satellite connection would help mask the flush on her face and how badly she did want to know everything about Delphine Cormier. "Two, unlike the rest of you, I believe in privacy. And three, I'm not interested in her or anyone else here in that way."

"You are so shit at lying."

Cosima sighed. "Fine, believe what you want. I'll try to call you again later. I've gotta finish getting ready."

Sarah's "Aw c'mon Cos" intermingled with Fe's "The lesbian doth protest too much, me thinks" as Cosima snapped her laptop shut before she could give in to temptation.

It was annoying how, among all of her clone sisters, Sarah -the con artist grifter extraordinaire-was the most perceptive. And it was embarrassing, really, how smitten Cosima was with Delphine in just a few short weeks. She had never formed attachments easily. She was always too busy with her studies and lab work to develop anything more than casual acquaintances and fleeting romances-the exceptions being the bonds she formed with her clones, Sarah especially.

But Delphine…

For the first time in her life, Cosima felt like she had finally met someone who just got it; who got her. _Cosima_. Not the stick-to-the-science geek monkey. Not 324B21. Not the girl who was dying. Delphine followed along with Cosima's dizzying, stream-of-consciousness tangents, and hardly ever missed a beat. Her eyes didn't glaze over if she dorked out over the extrapolation of murine models. Delphine laughed at Cosima's awful, cheesetastic science jokes and, amazingly, had a wellspring of her own ("What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!")

Of course, it didn't hurt that Delphine also was just freakin' gorgeous, with her damned golden curls and hazel-brown eyes so mesmerizing that it was like looking at the sun's corona during a solar eclipse. To make matters worse, Delphine seemed completely oblivious to the effect she had on everyone around her, from other volunteers and patients to Cosima herself.

And, truth be told, Cosima _wanted_ her. So badly she thought she would go mad. But she prided herself in managing to resist her genetic predisposition to impulsive behavior. She had no idea if Delphine was even interested in her in _that_ way. But every so often, the doctor would give Cosima these _looks._ Looks that would have been totally encouraging if not for the fact that they also scared the living shit out of her.

Even if, by some miraculous off-chance, Delphine felt the same way, the fact remained that Cosima would be leaving soon. She had already gotten notice from Rachel that she would be departing within the next week, once one of the private jets could be dispatched to Kinshasa. And then what? Would they stay in touch? Would Cosima willingly bring Delphine into her dangerous world of shadow cabals, military conspiracies, and illicit human cloning trials? Hell, would they even see each other again? Long distance almost never worked and the thought of not being around Delphine….

Cosima shook her head and tried to ignore the sudden pang in her chest. She focused instead on applying her makeup. It was no use getting worked up over possibilities that might never even come to pass.

 

***

 

The celebration by the Mbandaka river bank was in full swing by the time Cosima and the rest of her fellow DYAD scientists (plus Paul) arrived later that evening. Although their group eventually splintered to enjoy the festivities, Cosima remained with Scott and Paul as they made their way through the throngs of sweaty, excited residents chatting in Lingala and French. Cosima grinned widely as she took it all in - the various strains of dance music drifting through the air with the staccato beats of a rhumba-esque rhythm, the aroma of grilled fish and roasted goat mixed with the more pungent scent of smoke from the long wooden torches along the water's edge and spent fireworks. It was all, in one word…

"Amazing!" Scott exclaimed, hefting his knapsack higher on his shoulder. "Totally amazing!"

"Beats staying in playing Runewars all night, huh Scotty?" Cosima smiled at him and turned her head around to look at Paul, who was trailing a few paces behind them. "And do my eyes deceive me? Is BDP actually cracking a smile?"

"It's been known to happen," he replied dryly. "So where are your friends?"

"Um, they should be near the bonfire coming up here."

Beside her, Scott nervously smoothed the front of his blue plaid shirt for the umpteenth time and raked his fingers through his side-swept brown hair.

"Dude, relax," Cosima said.

"Easy for you to say," an increasingly nervous Scott said. "Delphine's already head over heels for you. The rest of us aren't so lucky."

Cosima nearly tripped on her own feet. "Wha-what? What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Cosima." Scott rolled his eyes. "Everyone's seen the way you two look at each other."

"And how exactly do we look at each other?" Cosima turned her hands up in askance, already afraid of the answer.

"Like you're about to rip each other's clothes off any second," Paul interjected from behind her.

"That... that's crazy," she said as they approached the crowd gathered around the bonfire. Was she so easy to read to everyone? To Delphine? "We're just… friends..."

It was then that Cosima caught sight of Delphine and stopped dead in her tracks, causing Paul to nearly run into her. In place of her usual scrubs, Delphine wore a slate blue tank top with a pair of khaki shorts. She swayed with sensual fluidity to the surrounding music alongside Valerie and Ava, and Cosima couldn't stop herself from drinking in Delphine's long, slender legs, and the toned muscles of her arms. She had never seen so much of Delphine's skin that she was taken aback when she noticed the doctor's scars for the first time-one long and jagged from her left knee down her shin, the other on her chest just to the right of her sternum. But even with these revelations, Delphine remained as carelessly beautiful as ever, and desire shot through Cosima's body from the top of her head straight down to her toes

"Think your jaw might be on the ground there, Dr. Just Friends," Paul muttered out of the corner of his mouth as he nudged her shoulder.

Cosima would have gladly told her temporary monitor to kindly fuck off if not for the fact that something else grabbed her attention. Something like someone approaching Delphine from behind, placing his hands on her hips, and rocking against her. Cosima recognized him as one of the other MSF doctors at the clinic-Antoine Grenier, if her memory served her well. Short cropped hair, roguish facial stubble, boyish good looks. He was easy on the eyes, Cosima would give him that much. But she had a sudden and irresistible need to channel Helena, her wild-haired, slightly unstable genetic identical, and go all angry angel on him. Unlike some-scratch that, _nearly all_ -of her clone sisters (and brother), Cosima had never been prone to physical violence. And yet, with the sudden onslaught of irrational jealousy swirling in her stomach, she very much entertained the idea.

"Hey you guys made it!" Valerie called out before Cosima could do anything rash.

"Wouldn't miss it," Scott answered in his usual endearingly overeager manner.

Cosima hummed her agreement just as Delphine's eyes snapped open and their gazes locked. Delphine beamed at her and, without a second thought, disentangled herself from Dr. Love's grubby paws to make her way over to Cosima, who managed to not throw a self-satisfied smirk in the direction of the clearly disappointed Grenier.

"Bonsoir Cosima." Delphine kissed her on each cheek and Cosima breathed in Delphine's familiar lilac scent. Delphine greeted Paul and Scott similarly, and Cosima tried not to read too much into the way the doctor's lips had seemed to linger on her skin a few beats longer.

"Now that we're all here, let's get this party started!" Ava said as she picked up what looked like an old, white milk jug from the ground, took several long chugs from it before handing it to Cosima.

"What's this?" The scientist sniffed the rim experimentally and was met with the astringent aroma of alcohol.

"Lotoko," Delphine answered, the Lingala word rolling smoothly off her tongue. "Congolese moonshine."

"I thought that was banned?" Scott's question elicited chuckles from the MSF volunteers. "Because of the methanol content."

"Then it's a good thing you're surrounded by doctors, Scott." Ava winked at him and Delphine smacked her arm.

"The risk of poisoning is present only if it's made from maize," Delphine explained. "This was fermented and distilled using cassava."

Cosima shrugged. "Gotta live a little, right?" She took a small sip and the drink blazed down her throat, causing her to cough violently. There was a reason she was a red wine-only kind of gal. "Holy shit!"

Ava laughed out loud and slapped her on the back. "Atta girl." She wrapped an arm around Cosima's shoulders and pulled her close to whisper, "Get enough of that in you and maybe you and Cormier can finally get it on."

Cosima spluttered as she tried another sip. "Um… what?" She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Ignore anything she says," Delphine said, pushing Ava away and taking the bottle. "She's already drunk." The doctor maintained eye contact as she brought the drink to her own lips for a long, slow pull, and Cosima felt heat pooling in her stomach.

The next few hours whizzed by in a blur of dancing and drinking, of laughter and general merriment. Several children from the clinic, recognizing Cosima and Scott, surrounded them with excited shouts of "Les Scientifiques! Les Scientifiques!"

"I dunno guys," Cosima shrugged. "It might be a little late for science experiments." After a few seconds of disappointed whining from the kids, a mischievous grin broke out on her face. "Oh who am I kidding? It's never too late for science!"

She nodded to Scott, who opened the knapsack he had been carrying and handed small wax patties to about a dozen pairs of little eager hands. Cosima picked one up and flipped it in her hand.

"Now, you've got to be careful, okay? Don't stand too close to the fire. Um, la sécurité d'abord!"

The children giggled at her French, but they understood all the same. Standing to the side, Delphine gave her two thumbs up. With Scott's help, Cosima demonstrated tossing a few patties in different places around the bonfire. The flickering flames burst into a multitude of colors, from purple and blue and pink to green, orange and white, eliciting cries of delight from the kids and surprised exclamations from the adults.

"What are those?" An amused Delphine appeared by her side.

"My dad's famous Niehaus fire starters," Cosima said proudly. "He used to make them for our camping trips when I was a kid."

"What's in them?"

"Oh, you know, the usual: some potassium chloride, calcium chloride, alum, some magnesium sulfate."

Delphine laughed. "Where on earth did you find all of that here?"

"We have our ways." Cosima winked at her and pressed one of the wax patties into Delphine's palm, canting her head toward the fire. "Go on."

Delphine smiled at her fondly and suddenly bent down, kissing her cheek near the corner of her lips.

"Merci," she said, and Cosima's heart thudded warmly in her chest.

Eventually, other clinic patients greeted them and offered impromptu lessons on how to dance the popular Ndombolo. And now Cosima would forever have seared into her memory of Paul and Scott awkwardly (but good-naturedly) attempting to copy the moves, which included rapid hip, chest, and shoulder gyrations and thrusts—side to side, front and back, round and round in circles.

As Cosima laughed hysterically, tears forming, Scott rolled his eyes and issued her a challenge, smiling nonetheless. "Let's see you do it, if you're so great."

"Fine, fine," Cosima said, taking Scott's place. "Watch and learn, boys."

It took her a few tries, but she eventually got the hang of the dance, the movements not too radically different from her own flowing freehand style. Delphine, Valerie, and Ava soon joined her. Delphine danced so close that Cosima she could feel the heat radiating off of her body, see the sweat glistening across her chest, accentuating the scar tissue—and the _want_ that had been simmering inside Cosima's all evening threatened to boil over.

After they all boogied until they were out of breath and could boogie no more, they collapsed near the edge of the fire. To Cosima's delight, Valerie seemed quite taken with Scott, even when he began spouting off about the Fibonacci sequence and 1.61803398875 in response to the nurse's simple question about Cosima's nautilus tattoo. Smooth, Scott was not, and Cosima barely resisted the urge to slap the heel of her hand on her forehead.

"What Scott's trying to say," Cosima explained from where she was sitting, arms resting slightly on her bent knees, "is that the spiral represents the golden ratio-a mathematical pattern that repeats itself in nature."

"Right!" Scott bobbed his head up in down, taking the jug of lotoko that Ava was passing to him. "Like hurricanes or how a hawk swoops down for a kill!"

Off Valerie's dubious look, Cosima added, "Or flower petals, galaxies…" She trailed off as Delphine, sitting to her right, turned her arm over and traced a spiral inside her palm with her index finger. Cosima shivered from the feather-light touch.

"The ratio can also be found in our faces, our fingers," Delphine said softly as she lifted her eyes to meet Cosima's questioning gaze. "Every molecule of our DNA."

"Wow that's so beautiful," Valerie sighed, leaning into Scott, who grinned in embarrassed delight.

"Yeah it is," Delphine agreed, her eyes never leaving Cosima's face. Cosima's stomach flipped and her cheeks burned from the adoring way Delphine looked at her.

"And here I thought you probably just liked collecting shells as a kid," Ava spoke up.

"Uh…" Cosima's attention snapped back to Ava, who smirked at her. "That too. I did grow up in San Francisco."

"And the weed?" Ava asked. "Did you like gardening too?"

"Oh." Cosima lifted her left arm and examined the dandelion tattoo etched close to the inside of her elbow. "I guess I like the idea of a species that propagates against all odds."

"Also, Taraxacum offspring are genetically identical," Scott chimed in, waving the lotoko jug, "and Cosima's a…"

"I think you've had about enough of that," Paul interrupted, taking the bottle from Scott and taking a swig.

The discussion moved on from there, but Cosima could hardly pay attention, not with the way Delphine continued to cradle her hand, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

* * *

As the evening wore on, and the others paired up and became immersed in their own conversations, Delphine laced her fingers through Cosima's and tugged her up, quietly leading them to the river shore. Though it was dark-close to midnight-Delphine still could make out the outlines of thick clouds rolling in from the horizon thanks to the bright light of the waxing moon. The wind picked up, a welcome respite from the lingering heat as it whipped along their bodies and rippled their hair. They walked in silence, the hearty sounds of the other revelers fading as the crowds began to disperse. It was, in a word, peaceful.

That is, until Cosima nearly wiped out on a slippery patch of mud, saved only by Delphine's quick reflexes.

"I now know how you ended up in my clinic," Delphine teased, steadying Cosima by twisting herself in front of the scientist and wrapping her arms around her waist.

"I swear this river has it out for me." Cosima's hands reached out and gripped Delphine's shoulders.

"I don't think the river is to blame for your accident-prone nature." Delphine knew she should probably let Cosima go, but the way the smaller woman's body fit against hers just felt too good.

"Hey, shouldn't heroes have a bit more sympathy for the people they rescue?" Cosima asked with mock indignation despite the mirth in her dark eyes. "Just see if you get a reward."

"What reward?"

Cosima's face was mere inches away. Delphine unconsciously licked her lips. All she had to do was lean in… but Cosima slipped out of her grasp with an impish smile and managed to stay on her feet long to escape the muck. "Guess you'll never know now!"

Delphine trotted after the scientist, being careful not to lose her own footing in the squishy earth. They walked farther along until they reached the wide base of a baobab tree and rested against its cork-like bark, side-by-side, facing the glimmering river. Low rumbles of thunder sounded in the distance. Delphine was tempted to take Cosima's hand again, but Cosima beat her to it, quickly linking their fingers.

"What are you thinking about?" Delphine asked, lightly squeezing Cosima's hand.

"Oh, you know, causality versus fate."

Delphine shook her head. "Right, of course you are." She stole an affectionate glance at Cosima from the corner of her eye. "Care to elaborate?"

"Like, this moment, here with you." Cosima turned her head to the left to regard Delphine, her expression contemplative. "How much is attributable to our past actions and how much is just inexplicable fate?"

"You mean like a butterfly effect? If I had chosen tea over coffee one morning 10 years ago before class, could that have drastically altered my future such that we would have never met?"

"Yeah. What if by choosing tea, you weren't as alert for that morning's class, causing you to miss a key point in the lecture," Cosima's free hand began rotating through the air, clockwise and counterclockwise, "thereby resulting in a lower final score that affected your medical school choices, which in turn influenced where you interned and completed your residency and generally determined your whole career path."

Delphine let out a sharp laugh that seemed to echo across the water and cut through the mounting scent of ozone from the oncoming storm.

"Okay so it might be a little hard to swallow in the micro sense-this isn't _Sliding Doors_ , right?" Cosima acceded. "So what about in the macro? What if you had decided to bypass med school to get your PhD in immunology?What are the chances we still would have met in the Congo?"

Delphine studied Cosima's eager features for a few beats before answering, "Isn't that operating under the assumption we would have met only in DRC? Who's to say we wouldn't have run into each other elsewhere? If I had pursued my doctorate, maybe we would have ended up as colleagues at DYAD. Would that be so improbable?"

"Maybe not, but the odds of that happening would be astronomical."

"As astronomical as, say, meeting again after you dropped your phone in the river?"

Cosima chuckled. "Right."

"So then maybe we were fated to meet, regardless of our choices," Delphine said, her heart warming, not necessarily from the thought itself, but that Cosima would even consider it. "I didn't think scientists believed in such fantastical notions."

"From a logical standpoint, I don't," Cosima said, turning her head back toward the water.

"And from some other standpoint?"

Cosima didn't immediately respond, seemingly lost in her own head, before she finally continued: "When I was in high school, my mom was completely obsessed with the idea that souls are fated to reincarnate with the same souls, over and over again, until some great life lesson is learned or something. So in a past life, hypothetically, you could have been my father or even my daughter or..."

"Your wife?"

Inhaling sharply, Cosima's head shot back toward Delphine. "Crazy right?" She cleared her throat. "Though, it always made me wonder if concepts like fate are really that much more far-fetched than causal determinism or even random coincidence. I don't know. What do you think?"

Delphine said nothing for quite some time, her thoughts drifting to the lives she had lost and the myriad untapped possibilities of saving them… or not.

"In the West Bank, I had a patient-her name was Rand-she was pregnant with her first child," Delphine began. "We became friends. Sometimes, we'd sift through mounds of garbage looking for… I don't even know what, anything salvageable really." Delphine smiled wistfully, letting the memories wash over her. "Or I'd go to her apartment to watch Palestinian talent shows with her and her mom and brother. Really, aside from Ava, she was my only real friend there."

She let go of Cosima's hand and walked toward the river's edge, folding her arms across her chest. She could feel Cosima's scrutiny along her back.

"It was my first mission with the Red Crescent," she continued, closing her eyes. "And I arrogantly thought I could handle anything. But it was difficult living there." Delphine heard Cosima's footsteps approach and stop beside her, but the scientist remained silent. "One night I went out with Ava to some club, had way too much to drink, and ended up oversleeping the next day. I probably would have kept sleeping if I hadn't gotten a call from Rand." Opening her eyes, Delphine turned to Cosima, who was watching her with rapt attention. "She was in premature labor, in the backseat of her brother's car, unable to get to the hospital because of a military blockade."

Delphine swallowed. No one else knew this story except Ava and a handful of Red Crescent physicians stationed with them at the time. She had never told anyone else, not even her mother. As if sensing Delphine's hesitation, Cosima laid her hands, warm and steady, on both of the doctor's arms, just above her elbows.

"I got there as fast as I could, but… I couldn't get her baby past the soldiers. And he died, right there in my arms, in the middle of a crowded street and no one gave a damn." To this day, Delphine could remember every detail of that day: Rand's agonized screams contrasting with her softer pleading, the angry roar of the overwhelming crush of protestors, the stench of exhaust from idle cars stalled in standstill traffic, the paper weight of the tiny life fading in her hands.

"Rand blamed me." Delphine felt the sting of tears pooling behind her eyes, swallowed against the lump threatening to form in her throat. "A few weeks later, she crossed the border into Jerusalem and detonated a bomb in one of the shopping districts… and I just happened to be nearby."

She turned toward Cosima, who, for the first time since they had met, was rendered speechless. "It's how I got this," Delphine traced a finger over the scar tissue on her chest. "And the one on my leg."

"Delphine." Cosima's hands tightened on her arms.

"Ever since then, I've replayed countless scenarios in my head, wondering if I could have done things differently or changed anything. And if I couldn't, then how could I possibly believe in fate if it can be so cruel-not just to Rand and her baby, but to everyone out there suffering?"

Delphine shook her head. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… when those things happened, for whatever reason or for no reason at all, at the end of the day, they just happened. And whether they're good or bad or neither, those things led me to places where I could maybe help more people than not and where I could meet you." She shrugged helplessly. "And, maybe it's wrong, but I can't help but feel a little grateful. Because Cosima, you're amazing and I…"

Cosima surged forward and captured the rest of Delphine's words with her lips. Delphine closed her eyes and brought her hands up to gently cradle Cosima's face between her palms, steadying herself and deepening the kiss. Cosima responded fervently, her hands releasing Delphine's arms to grip at her hips and pull their bodies together. It was dizzying, the way Cosima made her feel, as if the ground had fallen out beneath them and they were free-floating in zero-gravity. And intense… so intense that when Cosima's tongue trace her bottom lip, Delphine gasped and moved back slightly, resting her forehead on Cosima's.

As they tried to catch their breaths, the rise and fall of their chests syncing in tempo against one another, the first, cool raindrops began to fall-only a few at first, bouncing off their arms, heads, and shoulders, but within seconds turning to into a full-fledged shower. They both turned their faces up to the sky, the rain washing away Delphine's tears. Cosima eventually grasped Delphine's hands and brought them to her lips, drawing the doctor's attention back to her. Delphine smiled and tugged Cosima away from the river and back toward the dirt road that ran alongside the Congo.

"Come," she said simply, and Cosima willingly followed.

Delphine guided her through the rain, past the few remaining celebrators, and along the city's largely undeveloped streets. She wished she could freeze the moment and commit everything to memory: the warmth of Cosima's hand in hers and the increasingly heavy weight of her soaked clothing; the hiss of the rain like thousands of beads spilled on a marble floor and the sweet smell of petrichor emanating from the storm; and the way Cosima's dreadlocks plastered the side of her gorgeously beaming face.

Within no time, they reached a two-story concrete building, large enough to accommodate a number of small apartments. Delphine fished a set of keys from her pocket as they approached one worn wooden door.

"So all night long, you've been leading us toward your place?" Cosima said behind her, molding her hands onto Delphine's hips.

"Yes."

Cosima leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck. Tingles shivered down Delphine's spine from just the barely-there pressure of Cosima's lips.

"Thought you might have you way with me, Dr. Cormier?"

"Yes."

She shot a playful smile at Cosima and ushered them inside the tiny studio apartment that had been her home for the past 8 months. Slipping out of Cosima's grip, Delphine walked a few steps to the right to the kitchenette, where she turned on a small, battery-powered lantern.

"There's usually no electricity at this time of night," she explained, combing wet strands of hair away from her face and picking up a box of matches. She began to light candles of varying shapes and sizes strewn about the sparse living space, atop the kitchenette's counters, a few built-in shelves, a small table, and a nightstand next to the full-sized bed crammed in the corner.

Once the room was filled with a dim orange glow, Delphine returned to the entrance and switched off the lantern.

"Why don't I get you a towel…?" Delphine started, but Cosima just grabbed her by the waist.

"Don't worry about that," she murmured. "Just c'mere."

Their mouths met in a heated kiss. Cosima's hands slipped beneath the hem of Delphine's tank top, splaying her fingers across the skin of her stomach before reluctantly breaking the kiss and lifting the drenched fabric up and over Delphine's head. She proceeded to take off her own blouse, which ended up getting caught in her dreads. Delphine chuckled as she helped Cosima out of her predicament. But her laughter faded quickly, breath knocked clean out of her chest, as she took in the sight of a nearly topless Cosima for the first time-the soft swell of her breasts above her bra, the taut muscles of her flat stomach.

A delicious ache settled between Delphine's legs and she curved her index fingers through the belt loops of Cosima's jeans, guiding them toward the bed. They shed their shoes and remaining clothes along the way, once again exploring each others' mouths, until they collapsed together on the bed in a tangled heap of passion and desire.


	4. Far Away From Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this "epilogue" had a mind of its own and really wanted to be a final chapter instead. Again, a hearty thank you to everyone who has been following along. Hope you enjoy it!

Cosima trembled with lingering pleasure as Delphine slowly slid up her body, savoring the friction of skin against skin. Hips snug between Cosima's thighs, Delphine settled on top of her, burying her hands under the pillow beneath Cosima's head.

 _A girl could get used to this,_ Cosima thought, wrapping her arms tightly around Delphine's shoulders. She wished the night could last forever. It had been nearly one week since they first made love, and every night since then Cosima had found herself deliciously entangled with Delphine. The room was dark save for the last flickering remnants of dim candle light.

"Tell me again why we didn't start doing this sooner," Cosima half groaned.

"Because," Delphine said, trailing her tongue along the side of Cosima's neck, "you didn't make a move sooner."

"Um, excuse you, Dr. Cormier." Cosima shivered despite her attempt at indignation. "I don't recall you getting your game on any faster."

"I believe I gave you an ample amount of hints." Delphine raised her head slightly to playfully smile down at Cosima. "Perhaps you are not nearly as clever as I thought."

"Is that right?"

"Mmhmm." Delphine brought their lips together in a slow and gentle kiss that tasted like spearmint and cigarettes and sweet tenderness. It left Cosima dizzy long after they broke apart.

"I might be willing to admit that I probably should have gone ahead and ravished you that first night in Kinshasa."

"I probably would have let you."

"Yeah?" Cosima grinned lazily.

Delphine nodded, the tip of her tongue darting out to lick her lips. "I feel like I just saw you standing outside that hotel." She pulled one of her hands free and brushed her knuckles across Cosima's cheek, eyes turning serious. "I still can't believe you're leaving tomorrow."

"Me either."

A wave of sadness swelled inside Cosima, an increasingly frequent occurrence ever since she received her marching orders from Rachel. In a few hours, the sun would be rising and Cosima would be on a plane back to Kinshasa, where she would board a private DYAD jet that would take her home to Toronto...and away from Delphine. Cosima took a deep breath and managed to keep the emotion from cresting.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it," she said.

Delphine sighed, shifting downward to rest her head on Cosima's chest. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Can't be helped, really."

Cosima combed her fingers through Delphine's hair, and tried not to dwell on the goodbyes she had shared earlier that day with Valerie and Ava and everyone else at the clinic. Instead, she focused on the steady staccato rhythm of Delphine's heart beating against her, the silky smooth strands between her fingers, the warm, comforting weight pressing her into the worn mattress. But then she thought of the forlorn faces of the children, and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to hold back her tears.

"Are you okay?" Delphine turned her face up and Cosima felt the heat of her breath ghosting against her throat.

"Of course," she answered, but the thickness in her voice belied her claim.

Delphine laid a soft kiss on her breastbone and nestled closer. "So what's the first thing you'll do when you get back?"

 _Find some weed and get so baked that I don't go batshit crazy missing you._ "Nothing that exciting, I'm sure."

"Tell me. Please?"

"All right." Cosima nuzzled the top of Delphine's head, breathing in the familiar scent of lilac. "After I get settled, I'm sure my boss will want to debrief me and then strong arm me into getting a physical." Cosima grimaced, already dreading the onslaught of Rachel's unrelenting scrutiny and micromanagement. "Then I'll probably check on my lab, catch up with some friends. Boring, right?"

"Not at all." A beat. "Why would your boss want you to take a physical?"

"Oh, you know, to make sure I'm still healthy as a horse after this trip."

"DYAD must really care about its employees."

Cosima hummed noncommittally. She probably should have changed the subject. But for some reason, she couldn't. "Or they just want to make sure that the experimental gene therapy they spent god knows how much money on for… for people like me… is still effective."

Delphine propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at Cosima, worry and confusion etched across her beautiful face.

"Gene therapy?"

"I don't know if you remember this," Cosima said, toying with the ends of a golden curl, "but, when we were in Kinshasa, I might have offhandedly mentioned, um, coughing up my lungs at one point."

"I thought you were high and joking."

"Totally high, yes, but totally not joking, about that at least."

Delphine shook her head, her mouth moving without sound for several moments. "Are… are you better?" She caressed Cosima's face with the tips of her fingers.

"I am now," she said, leaning into the touch and kissing Delphine's palm. Cosima could tell the Delphine had hundreds of questions racing through her head, but was just too polite to pry. "It was an unclassified autoimmune disorder... unique to my, uh, family. Gotta admit it was a little touch and go there." _And the massive understatement of the year award goes to…._ "But, I've got a clean bill of health, thanks to the therapy. DYAD wouldn't have let me come here otherwise."

Delphine's eyes darted over Cosima's face, obviously wanting to know more, both out of concern and medical curiosity. But after a few moments, she let out a long breath and smiled.

"I'm glad," she said.

"Sorry for not mentioning it sooner."

"Technically, you did mention it already."

"That's true," Cosima laughed.

She wondered if Delphine remembered the other bombshell she had inadvertently dropped that night—the one about the cloning trial. If Delphine did, she didn't say anything and Cosima didn't remind her. She didn't like hiding things from Delphine, but she just couldn't bring herself to discuss her genetic identicals, at least not that moment.

"Thank you for sharing that with me," Delphine said.

Cosima braced Delphine against her and rolled them over so that she was now straddling the doctor's hips. Leaning forward so that her face was hovering over Delphine's, Cosima looked deeply into hazel eyes.

"There's so much I want to tell you," she whispered. "I wish we had more time."

They hadn't discussed staying in touch after Cosima left. She knew Delphine had only a few weeks remaining in her MSF assignment. But what the doctor had planned after she left the country, Cosima didn't know. And honestly, she was too afraid to ask. What if she didn't like the answer? What if this wasn't anything more than a one-time fling for Delphine?

Deep down, Cosima knew that couldn't be the case. They shared a connection. Instinctive. Visceral. She was sure Delphine felt it too, but her uncertainty remained nevertheless.

"I've heard," Delphine started, tracing patterns up Cosima's thighs and hips, skimming the sides of her stomach and breasts before splaying her long fingers across the scientist's waist, "that Bridgepoint Health is always in need of physicians."

"Bridgepoint? Like in Toronto?"

"Yes. If I can set up some interviews," Delphine grazed her teeth alone the edge of her bottom lip, "maybe you could tell me more when I'm in town."

Cosima froze, not quite sure she had heard right and not quite willing to get her hopes up.

"Or not," Delphine backtracked hurriedly when Cosima didn't immediately respond.

"No no no," Cosima rushed out, heart pounding in her chest. "I would love that. If you're, if you're serious?"

"Yes." Delphine bobbed her head up and down once.

A huge grin broke out on Cosima's face. She cupped Delphine's jaw and captured her lips eagerly. The kiss turned passionate quickly and when Delphine gripped her hips and rocked up against her core, Cosima gasped in pleasure and any notions of further discussion flew out of her head.

…

About a month later, Cosima still replayed her last night in Africa over and over again in her mind's eye. Even after all that time, she remembered everything: the slick heat of Delphine's body intimately entwined with her own, the salt of her skin, their strangled cries of ecstasy, the sweet nothings Delphine murmured in French against her ear. She recalled how, the very next morning, Delphine had smiled through her tears and kissed her goodbye so sweetly that it had left a permanent ache in the center of Cosima's heart.

Sometimes memories of Delphine would sneak up on Cosima, often at the most inappropriate times, like during status briefings with Rachel. The DYAD executive picked up on Cosima's distraction quite readily, but usually responded with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

Although she had been able to speak to Delphine briefly on the phone here and there, it was always difficult to hear her amidst the crackles, pops, and hisses of the long-distance static. And their conversations weren't nearly enough to satisfy Cosima's craving for Delphine. She had no idea it was possible to miss someone so much that she physically felt incomplete, a part of her missing. Some of her friends were sympathetic—most notably Scott, who was going through his own separation pangs with Valerie. Others (namely Sarah and Felix and Tony) seemed to revel in teasing her incessantly about it.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" Sarah said one night at Felix's loft, lounging on her brother's teal couch with Cosima, legs outstretched onto the coffee table.

"No," Cosima lied, taking a sip from her glass of pinot noir.

"You totally are." Tony poked his head out from behind one of Felix's unfinished paintings, a smirk on his handsome face. "You've got the look."

"What look?"

" _That_ look." Sarah reached over and nudged Cosima's jaw with her finger. "That starry-eyed, I-can't-stop-thinking-about-shagging-my-girlfriend look." Sarah shook her head.

"She's not my girlfriend."

Sarah wordlessly responded with a thoroughly unconvinced "stop shitting me" expression.

"I mean, we haven't talked about it," Cosima admitted. She and Delphine were, obviously, more than friends. But were they in a relationship? Cosima just wasn't sure. "I just don't know why we have to label it."

"A rose by any other name, Cosima," Felix chimed in from the kitchen where he was pouring bourbons for himself and Sarah. "So, is your not-girlfriend still in Africa?"

"No, she's flying back to Pointe-Claire." She glanced at her wristwatch. 9:45 p.m. "Her flight should be landing soon." She refrained from mentioning that she had tracked Delphine's plane online all day.

"And then?" Tony plopped down on a chair and crossed his legs, guzzling a beer.

"Then she spends time with her mom and her friends."

"And what about you?" Sarah asked.

Cosima's brow furrowed. "What about me?"

"Why in the hell are you here and not there?"

"Sarah, she hasn't seen her mom in almost a year." Cosima raised her hands in exasperation "I'm not about to intrude on her family time."

"Okay then, so you give her a bit." Sarah stood and walked to the kitchen, taking one of the drinks from Felix. "Then will you see her? Because I don't know how much more of your pathetic moping we can take."

Felix and Tony both chuckled, and Cosima sighed.

"She was thinking of maybe coming to Toronto next month," she offered hesitantly, knowing full well she'd probably regret sharing that bit of information.

"Now we're talking!" Tony clapped his hands together in excitement. "I have got to meet this chick."

"Nuh uh." Cosima waved her hands in a crossing motion. "If she ever comes here, you guys are going to make yourselves scarce."

"Why? Worried she's gonna dig me more than you?" Tony winked at her, lips quirking up into a devilish smile. "I am definitely hotter."

"You're kidding, right?" Cosima canted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "In case you've forgotten, we're clones."

"So?"

"You don't see a problem with that?"

Sarah returned to the couch and shrugged. "Cal knows. Donnie knows. Art knows. Siobhan knows. Kira knows. Hell, _everyone_ knows. Why not Delphine? You _can_ break the first rule of clone club, Cos."

Cosima lifted her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Well, unlike the rest of you, I've signed confidentiality agreements."

"And what?" Felix asked, taking a seat opposite Tony. "Rachel gonna sue you?" He straightened his spine, adopting a stiff posture. "You see, your honor, one of our illegally cloned subjects breached her contract by disclosing that she is, in fact, an illegally cloned subject." Slumping back into his chair, Felix rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "Come on, Cosima!"

"What are you really afraid of?" Sarah asked. "That she'll take one look at this shite storm and bolt in the other direction?"

"I don't know, maybe," Cosima quietly admitted, shaking her head. "Things are good right now. Marion's keeping Topside out of our hair. The Proletheans are out of the picture. We've reached a detente with Project Castor." She swirled her wine glass and watched the blood red liquid slosh against its sides. "But what if all that changes? She's been through so much already. I don't want her to get hurt."

The others remained silent for a few moments before Sarah spoke up again. "Cos, for all you know, she could get hurt crossing the street tomorrow." She patted Cosima's knee reassuringly. "Listen, if you want a life with this girl, you can't hide things from her. Believe me, I know."

"And it's her life too," Tony added. "Don't you think she has a right to know? A right to choose?"

Their arguments were nothing Cosima's hadn't already considered. Of course, they made sense. If anyone would value the importance of free will and agency, it would be them. She knew all of that. And yet, objectively speaking, Cosima had known Delphine for only one month. Was that really sufficient time to divulge everything?

Just then, her phone buzzed, the vibrations bouncing it toward the coffee table's edge. They all glanced at the caller ID, and Cosima's heart leaped into her throat.

"Speak of the sexy devil," Tony grinned.

Jumping off the couch, she snatched up the phone and accepted the call with a quick swipe of her thumb.

"Hey you," she answered with a smile. She walked toward the kitchen and bathroom for a bit of privacy, knowing that the others would be hanging on her every word.

"Hey," Delphine breathed. "Bonsoir Cosima."

Cosima closed her eyes at the sound of Delphine's smooth cadence against her ear, nearly crystal clear in clarity now that they were on the same continent again.

"You just land?"

"Yes, a few minutes ago. I'm… I'm sorry for calling so late. I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

"No! Not at all. Night owl, remember? It's totally early."

"Good, I'm glad."

Cosima could practically hear the relieved smile in Delphine's voice and couldn't stop her own smitten grin from forming.

"So how's it feel to be back home?"

"It's always so strange, you know? I mean, it's amazing how we take even the smallest comforts for granted here. "

"Yeah I know what you mean." Cosima ran a hand along the strings of beads hanging in the archway to Felix's bathroom, the disruption causing them to click and clack as they swayed through the air. "So, your mom's picking you up, right?"

"Yes, I should be seeing her shortly. Um, I don't want to keep you. I just…" Delphine paused. Cosima imagined her licking her lips.

"I had to hear your voice," Delphine finished softly.

Cosima nearly melted on the spot. "I'm really happy you called. I've missed you too." _So much._

She made the mistake of turning back toward the living room, where Sarah was making gagging motions, Felix was smooching the air, and Tony was… well, Tony was in the middle of a fairly obscene gesture involving his tongue and two fingers.

Cosima gave them all the bird and whirled back around just as Delphine said, "I should probably go. Will you have time to maybe Skype tomorrow?"

"I have all the time in the world for you."

Playfully disgusted groans rang out behind her and a throw pillow suddenly bounced off the back of her head. Cosima ignored it all.

"Okay then," Delphine said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bonne nuit."

"Yeah, okay, sweet dreams." Cosima waited for Delphine to disconnect and then braced herself for the ribbing that was to come from her family of eavesdroppers.

As Cosima made her way back to the couch, Sarah and Tony had identical shit-eating grins on their identical faces.

"Not your girlfriend, huh?" Tony smirked.

"Christ, I knew you had it bad, Cos," Sarah added, "but I didn't think it was _that_ bad."

"Don't mind them, Cosima," Felix said. "Love sick puppy works surprisingly well on you."

"Whatever." Cosima waved them off, but blushed nonetheless—because it was all true. And for the rest of the night, her thoughts remained on Delphine and how exactly she would go about telling her everything.

* * *

As the Toronto skyline came into view outside her plane's window, Delphine leaned back in her seat and took a sip of water. Even from such a high altitude, she could make out the needle-like CN Tower and the block-like buildings surrounding it. Somewhere down there, Cosima was going about her day, completely unaware that Delphine would be surprising her in just a few hours.

Her stomach twisted in anxiety as she imagined Cosima's reaction. Would she be happy to see her or upset, perhaps, that she was dropping in unannounced? Delphine had intended to visit Cosima once she had secured job interviews in Toronto, but had moved up her plans at her mom's insistence.

To Delphine's surprise and mild annoyance, her mother had found out about Cosima through a loose-lipped Ava, who had returned home to Montreal a week before Delphine. Chloe Beraud had taken the news of Delphine's relationship in stride. Though, in hindsight, it shouldn't have been at all surprising. Unlike her more practical-minded daughter and despite her failed marriage to Delphine's father, Chloe still fervently believed in fanciful notions of love and romance and "the one."

And so Chloe had peppered Delphine with dozens of questions about Cosima, from the usual (Where is she from? Where does she live? What does she do?) to the exasperating (So what's it like, being with a woman? When will I get to meet her?). After about a week's worth of interrogation, Chloe point blank had asked in French:

"Do you love her?"

Delphine had nearly spit out a mouthful of merlot over her dinner salad. "What?"

"It's a simple question, Delphi. Do you love her?"

"I…" Delphine had briefly considered saying she didn't know. But it would have been an outright lie. During their month-long separation, Delphine had thought about Cosima every day and dreamt about her nearly every night. What she felt for Cosima… it just wasn't possible for it to be anything but love.

"I do," she had finally answered.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Chloe had smiled, pleased with her answer. "Go to her."

"Maman, I'm here to spend time with you."

"There's plenty of time for that," her mom had waved her off. "Delphine, life's too short to not give into your feelings every once in a while."

"Like you did with papa?" The words had come out before Delphine could stop them. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"If I hadn't given into your father, you wouldn't be here, would you?" Chloe had said. "Good can come out of everything, Delphi, even things that end. So. Go, tell your Cosima how you feel, and bring her back here. Then we can all spend time together."

And less than 48 hours later, Delphine was landing in Toronto. As she deboarded the plane, she sent off a quick text to Cosima: _Are we still on for Skype tonight?_

She received a response within a few seconds: _Same bat-time, same bat-channel. ;)_

Delphine smiled affectionately, even though she didn't quite get the reference. It was enough knowing that Cosima would be home when she knocked on her apartment door. With her attention on the phone, however, Delphine failed to notice the distracted woman in the terminal yelling at her family and barreling toward her until it was too late.

They crashed into each other. Although Delphine managed to stay on her feet, the smaller woman was not so lucky and ended up sprawled on the floor.

"I am _so_ sorry!" Delphine exclaimed. "Are you all right?"

She reached down to help the woman and froze when the face that looked up at her was the one she had been aching for weeks to see.

"Cosima?"

The woman scrunched her eyebrows beneath fluffy bangs, regarding Delphine with irritation and absolutely no recognition whatsoever. She ignored the doctor's outstretched hand and stood up on her own, her proper posture stiff and straight.

"I'm sorry," she said primly, her brown eyes sizing up Delphine from head to toes. "You must have me mistaken for someone else."

Delphine could only shake her head, mouth agape. With the exception of her hair, which was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and the lack of glasses, the woman was the spitting image of Cosima. It was uncanny.

"Alison! Are you okay?" A mildly rotund man, with two children in tow, hustled up to them.

"I'm fine, Donnie," Alison said, addressing him with a snap of her head, her ponytail whipping along with her. "I wasn't watching where I was going. Let that be a lesson for you, Gemma, Oscar." She turned back to Delphine. "I apologize."

"That's… that's all right," Delphine said. "I should have been paying attention as well."

"We really should get going, honey," Donnie said, touching Alison's elbow.

"Right, of course." Alison nodded.

As the family began to continue to their destination, Delphine's curiosity got the better of her and she couldn't stop herself from calling out, "Wait!"

They all stopped and turned to face her, with Alison raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry. I know you have a flight to catch. But, are you somehow related to Cosima Niehaus?"

Alison eyes widened and she inhaled sharply, while Donnie and her kids glanced at her uncertainly.

"No," Alison replied quickly; perhaps too quickly. "I don't know who that is. If you'll excuse us."

And with that, Cosima's doppelganger shooed her family onward, leaving Delphine to wonder if it was possible that she just missed Cosima _so_ much that her mind was starting to play tricks on her. Things only got worse from there.

On the cab ride from the airport to her hotel, Delphine's driver took them past DYAD's sleek headquarters, its mirror-like windows reflecting the orange glow of the setting sun. While stopped at a neverending traffic light, Delphine noticed a man in a dark blue suit standing next to a black stretch town car—a man she recognized as Paul Dierden, or who she hoped was Paul given the way her day already was going.

Paul opened the car door for a woman emerging from DYAD's main entrance, and Delphine had to do a double-take. For a second time in less than a few hours, Delphine again stared at a woman who eerily resembled Cosima. This time, however, the lookalike had a perfectly composed blonde bob cut as chic as her navy blue skirt suit and four-inch Louboutins. Delphine shook her head and rubbed her eyes, convinced she was losing it. By the time she looked back, Paul, the woman and the town car had driven off.

After Delphine managed to convince herself that she wasn't completely losing it, she dropped her bags off at her hotel and freshened up. It was nearly 7 o'clock by the time she finally headed to Cosima's apartment building. Arriving about 30 minutes before their scheduled Skype call, she sent another text to the scientist.

_Are you almost home?_

_Sure am. What's up?_

_Good. I might have a surprise waiting for you._

_Ooh, Dr. Cormier. You shouldn't have. ;) I'll be there soon. Can't wait._

Delphine thought about waiting for Cosima on the steps of her building, but changed her mind when a departing resident held the front door open long enough for her to slip inside. After double checking the address on her phone, she rode the elevator up to the third floor and made her way to the Cosima's home.

Rounding a corner, Delphine found someone else standing at her destination's doorstep—Cosima herself.

Later, in hindsight, Delphine would mentally kick herself for not questioning the sight before her: from Cosima's all black attire and haphazardly pulled back hair, to the fact that it would have been improbable for Cosima to have made it to her door before Delphine.

At the time, none of that mattered.

"Cosima!" she greeted excitedly.

Cosima turned around in shock. "Uh… hey…?"

Delphine blindly rushed forward and cupped Cosima's jaw line, drawing their lips together. Somewhere in the distant background, she thought she heard the ding of the elevator. Cosima didn't immediately return the kiss, but before Delphine could pull back, the voice she loved rang out in the hallway.

"Delphine?"

She broke the kiss instantly and stared into bewildered brown eyes before turning her head to see yet another Cosima—this one with familiar glasses and dreadlocks in place—standing a few feet away, mouth hanging open and clearly flummoxed. Meanwhile, the other Cosima wriggled out of Delphine's grasp with a displeased grunt.

"Cosima?" Delphine asked, completely discombobulated and unsure of what to do. Her gaze shifted from one woman to the other and back again. Where one was dark and scowling, the other looked bright and apologetic.

And if things weren't already confusing enough, a man soon appeared next to the Cosima standing at the end of the hall. Even with the soul patch on his chin and the baggy jeans and t-shirt, he too looked just like Cosima.

"Damn." His voice was deep and smooth. "I knew I should have gotten here sooner." He grinned roguishly at Delphine, making no effort to hide the fact that he was slowly undressing her with his eyes, which earned him an elbow in the chest from the Cosima at his side.

She stepped forward, an apologetic smile on her face.

"Delphine, don't like freak out."

"Too late," the woman Delphine had just kissed muttered in a British accent.

"I can explain."

But Delphine barely heard her over the memories rushing back into her mind: _You were going to tell me about your dissertation. Oh right. Epigenetic influence on clone cells…Like, what if there were a dozen versions of me out there...Taraxacum offspring are genetically identical and Cosima's a…DYAD's just a little overprotective of its, uh, assets…I'm actually part of an illegal human cloning trial_ …

"You're clones," Delphine blurted out.

And three pairs of identical eyebrows shot up.

...

After being introduced to Sarah and Tony, Delphine quietly sat on Cosima's leather couch, head spinning, as the scientist gave a CliffsNotes summary about military-funded cloning experiments; monitored subjects; patented genes; faulty synthetic sequences that led to reproductive and autoimmune disorders; religious extremists; and trained assassins—to name just a few topics. It all seemed like something out of a science-fiction show.

During her explanation, Cosima paced back and forth in front of a poster of Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, wearing tracks into her Persian rug. The various bangles on her wrists clinked and clanked as her hands alternated from wringing together and zipping to and fro. Her nervous energy eventually prompted Sarah, who was leaning against the side of a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, to burst out: "Bloody hell, Cos, will you calm down already? You're making me dizzy."

Otherwise, Sarah remained mostly silent, as did Tony, who made himself at home at Cosima's desk and drummed his fingers on her double-helix adorned laptop. At some point, Tony had turned on Cosima's lava lamp, which cast a bright green glow across the scraps of paper, books, pens, and other assorted knickknacks strewn across the desktop.

When Cosima finished, all eyes turned expectantly to Delphine for her reaction.

"You still with us, gorgeous?" Tony asked.

Delphine smiled at him, touched by his concern. "Yes, it's um…just a lot to take in. And I'm not even the one who was cloned." She laughed, a bit cautiously, the initial shock slowly but surely dissipating from her system. "I can't even imagine what it's like for all of you." She made eye contact with Cosima, pleased to see that some of the tension in her small frame seemed to be gradually lessening.

"It was like a punch in the head, lemme tell ya," Tony said. "Knocks you flat on your ass."

Delphine remembered the woman at the airport. "I think… I think I might have bumped into one of your, um, sisters today at the airport."

"You did?" Cosima asked, her curiosity piqued.

"She had bangs," Delphine ran a finger across her forehead, just above her eyebrows, "and she was with her husband and children. I think her name was Alison."

Tony laughed out loud. "Oh man, I would have killed to see that. She was probably crapping her Lululemons."

"So you know her?"

"Oh yeah," Sarah answered. "A bloody soccer mum, but we love her anyway. I'm surprised she didn't call us with a red alert about it."

"Give her time," Cosima replied with a sigh.

"And on the way here," Delphine continued, "I passed by DYAD and thought I saw Paul with, well, another one of you, but she had short, blonde hair."

"That'd be Rachel," Cosima winced. "She's kind of my boss, actually. That's another long story."

Delphine nodded, now knowing the identity of the person with whom Cosima had been teleconferencing in DRC.

"I'd steer clear of that one, if I were you," Sarah warned before shaking her head. "If you ever meet Helena, you'll be all caught up with our little clone club."

"Seeing us all in one day," Tony whistled. "What are the odds, huh beautiful?"

"Astronomical," Cosima and Delphine said simultaneously, gazes locking, and they shared a laugh.

Sarah cleared her throat, not getting the humor. "Um, right then. So, Cos, if you have the stuff we came to pick up, Tony and I'll be on our merry way so you two lovebirds can have some time to yourselves."

Delphine blushed, but neither she nor Cosima insisted that Sarah and Tony stay longer.

"Speak for yourself, Manning," Tony said. "I for one wouldn't mind sticking around for the show." He waggled his eyebrows at Delphine and Sarah smacked the back of his head. "Ow!"

"Thank you for that, Sarah," Cosima said as she disappeared briefly into her bedroom and returned with a bulging tote bag. "Here you go. Some more of my favorite books for Kira."

"All age appropriate this time?" Sarah asked. "I don't want a repeat of that Dr. Moreau fiasco."

"Of course," Cosima offered a little too readily. "I've also packed some, uh, medicinal herbs for you guys."

"Nice," Sarah grinned. "Thanks Cos."

The three clones moved toward the door and Delphine stood to join them.

"It was nice meeting you," Delphine said to Sarah. "And sorry about the… you know."

"Don't mention it," Sarah said, waving her off. "And that goes for you too." She looked pointedly at Tony.

"My lips are sealed," he said, stepping closer to Delphine and took her hand. "If you ever get tired of dreadlocks there," Tony inclined his toward Cosima, "or even if you don't, call me anytime." He winked and kissed her knuckles, his whiskers tickling her skin.

"Okay." Delphine couldn't help but smile. Like Cosima, he was just so cute.

"All right," Cosima said, rolling her eyes. "Beat it, Casanova."

And with a few last goodbyes, Tony and Sarah were gone. And Delphine found herself alone with Cosima at last. She turned around and regarded Delphine, her eyes nervous behind her dark frames.

"So," Cosima started, rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand.

"So."

"You're here."

"I am." Delphine's hands itched to just reach out and grab Cosima. She wanted nothing more than to kiss away any remaining anxiety from her. But she managed to refrain, somehow, allowing the still uncomfortable Cosima to set the pace of their reunion.

"Did you, uh, already have some interviews scheduled?"

Delphine tried not to read too much into the hopeful tone in Cosima's voice.

"No, actually, I-"

She was cut off by a shrill ringtone. Cosima pulled out a blackberry in a lime green case and winced when she looked at the caller ID.

"I'm sorry. I have to take this." She pressed the phone up to her ear. "Hey. You guys make it to Florida okay?"

Not wanting to blatantly eavesdrop on the conversation, Delphine turned away to peruse Cosima's book collection. _On the Origin of Species. Endless Forms Most Beautiful. Brave New World. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. _Delphine did a double take on the last title and shook her head in amusement.

"Yeah, I know," Cosima said behind her. "That was Delphine. Yes, _that_ Delphine."

Upon hearing her name, Delphine glanced back at Cosima, who smiled sheepishly at her.

"Don't be silly. That's not even remotely true. Sarah and I do not get all the hot ones. Donnie's, um, hot too… in his own... way. No, I promise I'm not patronizing you."

 _Hot ones?_ As Cosima continued to placate the caller, Delphine returned her attention to the shelves that displayed a couple of picture frames, thankful she could hide the flattered blush spreading warmth across her cheeks. In one photo, a grinning Cosima, clad in dark blue velvet doctoral robes, stood between a proudly beaming older man and woman Delphine assumed were her parents. In another, the scientist was squished against the side of a couch next to three other women, two of whom she recognized as Sarah and Alison. The last one had a bleached-blonde mane of long, frizzy hair. Across their laps sprawled a little girl, 8 or 9 years old by the looks of it. The photographer had captured them all mid-laugh, the entire scene exuding a sense of love and family. It brought a smile to Delphine's face.

"She already knows," Cosima let out a long-suffering sigh. "She kind of bumped into Sarah and Tony, in addition to seeing, well, you… and maybe Rachel. How is that _my_ fault? Listen, we've already taken care of it. Okay. Just have fun with the fam. Don't worry. Yes. I will. I promise, _Mom_. Okay. Bye."

Delphine turned around once Cosima hung up.

"Sorry 'bout that," Cosima said, slipping the phone back in her pocket. "If I didn't answer, Alison would somehow put a BOLO on me."

"It's not a problem," Delphine said. "Is this Helena?" She pointed to the group photo.

"Yup, that's her."

"Don't people wonder why you all look alike?"

"Oh, um, I actually don't get a lot of visitors so… I've never actually had to explain that picture before."

Delphine nodded, mulling the implications of that statement. Cosima had always seemed so open and outgoing, and never struck her as particularly private. But given what she learned tonight, she could see how Cosima might keep to herself.

"If we're out together someplace though, people seem to buy that we're twins or triplets or whatever," she continued. "Speaking of, are you hungry? Do you want to grab some dinner?"

"I'd love to," Delphine replied.

…

Cosima brought her to a diner a few blocks away called The Bus Terminal. ("Trust me, their burgers are to die for.") And she was right. It had been nearly a year since Delphine had eaten a hamburger. The minute she blissfully sank her teeth into one, she nearly passed out in the stuffed-cushion booth they were sharing, with Cosima watching her with unabashed delight. ("Dude, I never thought I'd be jealous of food, but…") Over their meal, Delphine updated Cosima on Eva and Valerie ("We're thinking of starting an education fund for the children in Mbandaka." "That's so cool! Sign me up!"), but avoided mentioning that her nosy mother was practically chomping at the bit to meet the scientist who had seized her daughter's heart. Meanwhile, Cosima kept mum on anything clone-related, though she briefly focused on a fringe faction within DYAD that favored body modifications and other forms of self-directed evolution ("The guy had a tail. I swear to you. I can't believe, after everything you've seen today, you're really gonna question me about a tail!").

Darkness had fallen by the time they left, and Cosima intertwined their hands as she led them back to her apartment building. Her skin was as warm, soft, and smooth as Delphine remembered and she could hardly wait to reacquaint herself with the rest of Cosima's body. But when they arrived at their destination, Cosima bypassed her floor on the elevator ride up and instead took them to the rooftop deck furnished with wicker sofas and tall outdoor lamps.

Despite the beautiful evening, the deck was quiet and empty; not unlike their first meeting atop the hotel in Kinshasa so many months before, when Delphine had been smoking a cigarette on the hot and humid roof. That moment now seemed like it had been a part of an entirely different world—a different life—in which she had been lost in painful memories until an unbearably cute, pajama-clad American stranger with a bright, disarming smile had interrupted her brooding solitude.

And now?

Ava once told Delphine in Mbandaka that she seemed different. It was true. For the first time in a long time, she felt happy, content. She looked forward to each new day, instead of remaining mired in the mistakes of her past. And Delphine knew it was all because of Cosima—who was still so full of life and wonder even after her own existence was turned upside-down by forces she couldn't control, even after confronting her own mortality.

They stood by the roof's wrought-iron railing, staring out at the gleaming lights of Toronto's high rises and skyscrapers, and the red LED glow of the distant CN Tower. Delphine wondered about what Cosima was thinking, and if she too was remembering their first night together.

"Care for a little more d _éjà vu?"_ Cosima asked suddenly after they'd been standing in comfortable silence for several long minutes. Grinning, she held up a small joint between her fingers, and Delphine chuckled.

"Okay."

Cosima quickly lit it and took a deep hit, her body relaxing on the exhale _._ "I, um, I'm sorry again about the whole clone thing."

She offered the joint to Delphine, who gladly accepted it. Her fingers tingled from where they brushed against Cosima's.

"I'd been meaning to float it by you for a while now. I just didn't know how."

Delphine brought the joint to her lips and inhaled. "You don't owe me any apologies," she said, blowing out the smoke. "So that was really why you were in DRC. To get away?"

"Mm." Cosima nodded, taking another hit and passing the drug back. "Though the frogs were a nice draw too. But, I can never escape it all. Not really."

"No," Delphine said. "You just have to make the most of it."

"Yeah. And, at least I'm not alone. I've got clone club and my sisters and their kids-"

"And me," Delphine said, earnestly, turning to face Cosima. "You have me." _All of me._

Cosima swallowed hard and licked her lips. "So you're not, like, completely wigged that I could have hundreds of clones out there?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little, um, wigged," Delphine admitted, her voice low. She carefully stubbed out the joint to save the rest for a later time. "But, as far as I'm concerned," she stepped inside Cosima's personal space, slowly reaching up and cupping Cosima's face just as the scientist's hands settled on her hips, "there's only one of you. "

Delphine smoothed her right thumb lightly across Cosima's bottom lip. "Celle que j'aime."

Wrinkling her forehead, Cosima shook her head slightly in confusion, the phrase unfamiliar to her.

"The one I love," Delphine translated softly. "I love you, Cosima."

Cosima's eyes fluttered shut, her lips turning up into a mischievous grin.

"Is that why you showed up at my doorstep today unannounced?" Mirth sparkled in Cosima's eyes when she opened them again.

"Yes."

"Is that also why you laid a wet one on Sarah, like, 1.5 seconds after seeing her?"

Delphine rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "Yes."

"I've gotta warn you." Cosima gazed at her tenderly. "Loving me is kind of a package deal. You're gonna have to love all of us."

"Then I'll love all of you," Delphine responded without hesitation.

Cosimas exhaled, long and slow, as if she had been holding her breath. "Good, because I've fallen _so hard_ for you, Delphine Cormier," Cosima whispered, wrapping her arms around Delphine and melding their bodies together. "I don't think I can ever let you go. You've singlehandedly destroyed my budding career as an international Lothario."

Delphine closed her eyes and surrendered herself to the heat Cosima's embrace, their lips finally meeting with unequalled fervor. A now familiar sense of vertigo rushed through Delphine as her heart felt like it would expand straight out of her chest.

"One thing though," Cosima pulled back slightly, breathless, resting their foreheads together. "Could you maybe not make a habit of going around and kissing my clones?"

Delphine groaned. "You're never going to let me forget that are you?"

"No. Probably not ever. Think you can live with that?"

"Ask me again in the morning."

**The End**


End file.
